Purity Certificate: Vagina Carfax

I’m about to start charging yall for these blogs.

Yall always put me in a position to talk bad about fellow negros and fellow Christians.

brebowmanLast weekend, news broke that a young lady in Maryland presented her father with a ‘Certificate of Purity’ at her wedding. The certificate was from her gyno saying that her ‘hymen was still in tact’. Brelyn Freeman now Bowman is pictured posing with the Vagina Carfax Purity Certificate with her dad Pastor Mike Freeman. (He cute ain’t he a little..)

I feel the need to explain my perspective before I discuss my thoughts on this practice. I was raised by a single mother. She taught me that my body parts were MINE. She also taught me to wait until marriage. So I get that. I promise I do, I believe it’s the best practice. Sex is an exchange of spiritual energy that you should not exchange with everybody. We use it like a sport. I think that’s disgusting. The bible teaches us about how to treat our bodies. They are temples, don’t let errbody in chile. 1 Corinthians 6:20

[[#BibleStudy is short this blog because I have another one on deck as well. IDK who told yall to request 2 in a week. ]]

Let me first say hats off to Tim and Brelyn Bowman for staying virgins until they wed. (Tim did announce on Good Morning America that he too remained a virgin.. they also said they wasn’t virgins no mo.. yaassssss) I hope that many other young people look at them and decide to click clank. They are a beautiful couple too. She’ll be pregnant in 3 months tops yall.brebowman2

Here’s where I find the practice problematic.

First Problem

Brelyn’s hymen at no point is her own. She gave it to her daddy at 13. Then a man had to check and make sure it was still in tact, and then she gave it to her husband when she got married. As somebody with a vagina who suffers Eve’s painful consequences every 28 days, I’ll be DAMN if I’ll be gathering Carfax on my hymen to ANYBODY.

We as black people and Christians put all these boarders on women and their sexuality. What goes on in a teenage girls mind when she’s told that what’s between her own legs doesn’t belong to her?


(I’m assuming) Tim didn’t make a covenant with his mother at 13 to keep his wee wee in his pants until he got married… and there is no test for a virgin penis is there? Tim’s penis has always been his own. Likewise I beliveBre’s vagina/hymen should always be her own.

Second Problem

As a result of some late ass cultural standards, Bre’s husband, Tim didn’t feel the need to present CarFax on his penis to his mother. Yall know I HATE that double standard. I wish we taught our young men to be as pure and chaste as we teach girls. Contrary to popular belief, the penis and the brain ARE connected and we sell our young men short by letting them think that it’s impossible for them to remain virgins, be pure and say ‘No’ to sex.

I could go soooo much deeper into the double standard but for the purpose of time/space and my laziness.

Third Problem

A hymen that’s in tact doth not a virgin make, necessarily. A number of things can break your hymen, a tampon, a bicycle, a pap smear. Also, a penis/intercourse may not necessarily break it. It IS pretty elastic, made out of the same thing a vagina is, so if a baby can come through it and not completely wreck shop, the hymen can take a beating as well.

Also, just because you have your hymen doesn’t mean you’ve treated your body as a temple. Anal sex and oral sex don’t do anything to a hymen. Plenty of yall got a hymen, but ya MOUF…

Fourth Problem

brebowman3The bible says ‘Present your bodies a living sacrifice unto God’ (Romans 12). It doesn’t say present your body… to your daddy..to your husband.. or to Instagram. I don’t know Brelyn from any young lady on the street and I could’ve been just fine with out knowing that her hymen hasn’t been broken. God knows all and sees all. That certificate was not for God. That was for Brelyn and her Daddy. What’s God gonna do with a certificate? God isn’t impressed by that. If you’re living a life that’s pleasing unto God, you don’t have to put it on Instagram. Brelyn should’ve just put that picture up and simply said ‘dancing with my daddy at my wedding. Praise the Lordt.’

Fifth Problem

That was none of our business. We live in a culture of over-sharing. Yall invite people into your bedrooms and draws and then got the nerve to tell people get out your business.. Girl, you invited me in! I’m going to have commentary 97% of the time. If you don’t want me to talk about it, don’t put it on the world wide internets.

Same goes for Terry Crews and his wife. I just didn’t want to know they went on a sex fast. When I get married, the only sex fast I’m going on is to get Gatorade, chile.

Thus are my thoughts on the vagina carfax.

“Don’t be offended this is all my opinion ain’tnothing that I’m saying law…”

*Strums Geetar*

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