Category Archives: Movie Reviews

I was only going to see Madea because Tyler Perry is Black.

I love movies. I love going to the movies. My senior year of high school, my friends and I would skip and watch movies all afternoon. Looking back, I should’ve avoided all this student loan debt and became a movie critic. I haven’t ruled it out.

As a card carrying member of the community, my favorite movie genre is Black. In the immortal words of Issa Rae, “I’m rooting for everybody Black.” I feel an obligation to support Black movies regardless. Recently I’ve found myself having the conversation with myself that Dre is having with his kids in this clip because I’ve realized going to see Black movies means I’ll either be traumatized or disappointed. (I REALLY want to see Captain Marvel this weekend. Samuel L. Jackson no longer counts though, he got that white dollar down.)

For example, when I finally mustered up the courage to watch Detroit, I had to pause the movie for a full blown panic attack. I was inconsolable during Fruitvale Station (even though I knew the story).  I was PISSED when I left the theater after Birth of a Nation. I cried in the car after 42 (I was also going through a break up, don’t judge me) and I completely lost it at the end of Hidden Figures. I am not one to display emotion easily. These movies were huge triggers. I’m WEARY.

I’m exhausted by Black movies.

My mom is my movie partner. She’s been recovering from surgery and we hadn’t been in a few months. Last week, we got started again with What Men Want. I liked it. Erykah Badu’s character was HILARIOUS.

Here’s the thing. The movies my mom is going to see are limited. She likes lite, fluffy movies. She won’t go see slasher/horror films. This weekend, I want to see Happy Death Day 2U and Greta. I’ve been wanting to see Prodigy but those are out of the question if I want my mom to go and my local friends are very limited. I don’t mind going alone sometimes. I went to see Cold Pursuit alone. I liked that one too. I know we mad at Liam, but I’m a sucker for a kill everybody movie.

Anyway, tasked with choosing a movie we’ll both go see, I ask her if she wants to go see A Madea Family Funeral. She side eyed me! Her only daughter! Looked at me like I was crazy!

“No, I’m not spending my money on anymore Madea movies. Only way I’m going to see that movie is if Tyler Perry buys my ticket…. and picks me up.”

 

I laughed for a whole 60 seconds. But I aint gonna lie. I was relieved.

I do not want to go see A Madea Family Funeral. I had only planned on it because Tyler Perry is Black and he’s the star, supporting characters, producer, and director of the movie.

(We should probably consider the fact he’s a bit narcissistic and that keeps him from making quality movies because he won’t hire good actors or a director but I digress.)

Madea movies are not good. Madea movies are bad. There I said it.

 

From the plot, to the dialogue. Madea movies leave a lot to be desired. But the quality of Madea movies aren’t the only problem. The characters are cringeworthy, especially in the company of white people.

My Blackness won’t allow me to laugh at Madea WITH white people. White people love Madea because she’s exactly who they think Black and Brown women are; big, obnoxious, violent, unattractive, temperamental and funny. Tyler Perry’s characters are the kind of Black people white people aren’t threatened by. That’s why they flock to his movies and not other Black movies. White people didn’t go see The Hate U Give and Moonlight (also cried during that one). They were tricked into seeing Get Out. White people didn’t go see ‘Black’ movies before Madea.

Even in Perry’s movies without Madea (Why Did I Get Married,The Family That Preys), he almost NEVER portrays Black women positively. Tyler loves putting damaged, bitter, psycho, insecure, ignorant Black women in his movies. I really think this nigga hates us sometimes.

Furthermore, I’m tired of homophobic nig… Black people being the first in line to see a man put on a dress for entertainment. Is “manhood under attack” or isn’t it? Is the “gay agenda” and the “feminization of Black men a threat to the Black family” or do we love Madea? You can’t have it both ways.

Billy Porter, Oscars 2019 Red Carpet

We cannot clutch our pearls at an openly gay man in a dress on the Oscar’s red carpet and then turn around and keep supporting “straight” men who make a caricature out of Black women. You’re not threatened by feminine men, you’re threatened by someone being comfortable in their sexuality.

Y’all are comfortable with Madea because you’ve fooled yourselves into thinking Tyler Perry is straight (ha!) and because Madea movies have Christian themes.
Let me say this out loud, cause yall ain’t gonna accuse me of anything… I don’t for one second think there’s ANY gay agenda or that the government makes Black men put on dresses to destroy families. Heterosexual people don’t need ANY help destroying the Black family. Y’all are doing a great job. (Like when y’all humiliate your children for Instagram likes and Facebook comments). I’m just pointing out your hypocrisy. Tyler Perry and Billy Porter are the LEAST of yall’s problem.

Anyway, I’ve long reconciled that the personal is always political and even when I just want to be entertained, I’m burdened with my conscious. My awareness won’t let me watch a bad, problematic movie with white people and homophobic Black ones. I try not to be too woke to have fun, but it happens. Not to mention that until I monetize it, movie going is not cheap.

So, I’m not going to see Madea this weekend because I don’t want to… and I’m STILL Black af.

-CAGW
Follow me on snapchat, twitter and instagram at @CarrieKeepPushn!
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Get Out Blessed My Soul

Spoiler Alert: If you haven’t seen the movie, this has spoilers so come back after you go see it.

When I was too damn young I saw Chucky and didn’t do horror movies for awhile. I discovered my love for horror in my late teens. I still don’t do Chucky or any type of dolls or puppets but I enjoy a good slasher film or an exorcism film, I believe in them spirits honey.

get-out-3When I saw the previews for Get Out and saw that Jordan Peele was the director, I was confused. I’m a big fan of Key and Peele and I was like is this gonna be a comedy? Like a Scary Movie type film? I underestimated Jordan. Just ’cause you a comedian don’t mean you can’t do horror evidently. Don’t let ’em put you in a box. Message!

I have long had a desire for a black horror movie. I knew neither Spike or Tyler would be able and I knew that one by a white director would be a swing and a miss. Get Out was a breath of fresh air.

Can I be honest? Seeing a black man brutally kill a bunch of white people on a big screen was GREAT. It was even greater when I got in the lobby and saw the expressions on the white people’s faces. The show I was in was probably half black and half white. We APPLAUDED with every family member he killed. I mean a round of applause, girl. I ain’t cheered that hard since the 2013 March Madness. UofL Basketball, men AND women. OOOOHHHHHHHH C-A-R-D-S!

I know that sounds horrible but after a life time of seeing black men killed in REAL life. A film such as this is refreshing.

I believe this film was so great because of Jordan’s perspective. As a biracial person (black dad, white mom) he probably knows both cultures well. I learned plenty of stuff about white people that I didn’t know.

One, the white girl went OFF on that police officer and he didn’t do nothing! I’ve talked to a police officer like that. I was put in handcuffs.

Two, white people still got ‘help’ in 2017. I didn’t know people still had a black woman pouring them tea on Saturday afternoon. When  get my money right, my staff is going to be all white… nice whites like the ones at Chick Fila. My way to balance the universe.

Three, white parents let spouses sleep in the bed. I had a whole conversation about this on Facebook. It’s not going down in Lisa’s house. You can’t spend the night much less in my bed. You can probably get the couch or air mattress. I haven’t brought anybody home to Lisa yet. But my brother has a whole baby and him and his woman don’t leave the living room or kitchen. My white friends on Facebook was like ‘yea, i slept in bed with my boyfriend after high school.’ I am still appalled.

rod-get-outLet’s talk about homeboy!  Rod played by LilRel Howery played Chris’ homeboy. We all need a friend that will investigate and add some shit up. He TOLD Chris not to go to that white woman’s house and then Chris ass didn’t answer the phone for a few days. He went to the cops (one played by Erika Alexander, Maxine Shaw who hasn’t aged at all) and they laughed. Rod had the courage to get in his TSA vehicle and do some investigation. Would I have driven into white people woods for my friend? Not unarmed… I wouldn’t have.

I appreciate the film so much because it was honest. White people crazy. My homegirl asked if I knew the girlfriend was in on it. I said “of course, every white person is in on it.”

Furthermore, the film allowed a black man to be scared and not scary. Chris’ character had some stuff to deal with from his child hood and black characters, (especially male) don’t always get that humanity extended to them. We get to see Viola Davis ass cry and snot every film. When’s the last time you saw a 20 something black man cry on a movie?

Finally what I most appreciate about this film is that the racism wasn’t overt (well, at first) these were regular, nice liberal white people who voted for Obama and would again. White people like that can distance themselves from the KKK and Nazis therefore distancing themselves from racism or the moral responsibility to fight it. Chris was JUST AS uncomfortable around these nice white people and I’d argue those nice white people needed a reality check. Obama and Hill or not, yall still can make us hella uncomfortable.

So Get Out gets two thumbs up from me. I will never watch Birth of a Nation again but I plan on having Get Out and Moonlight in heavy rotation for movie nights. Who comin’ over for Black Films and Chill?

-CGW

 

 

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