Category Archives: Media

My Problem With The Body Positive Movement

I’m quickly realizing that I’m not THAT woke. I’m not woke enough to defend grown ass women showing up to their child’s school in bonnets, not woke enough to touch a lawnmower, not woke enough to not laugh at a grown ass man with a yorkie and not woke enough to act like there aren’t health issues associated with being overweight.

I’ve had this blog written for awhile but I knew it’d be controversial and I always lose ‘friends’ when I talk about this topic. My opinions the body positive movement, gender reveals and child support really set people off and to keep it 100, I enjoy getting a reaction out of people. But I’m gonna say this now, I’m not going back and forth with you niggas after I write this as I am too busy living my best life.

Here’s the picture I saw that made me decide to finally post this:

I chose to leave out the @ of the person who posted this because after looking at the rest of their timeline and the thousands of responses under the tweet, I’m not going to add anymore wood to that fire. I quickly realized that this post was a simple projection of their own unhappiness and insecurity and I know how stressful it can be to have your notifications blowing up with people telling you why you’re wrong.

There’s a LOT to unpack here and I feel it necessary to get some precursors outta the way. First of all, the Body Positive Movement centers whiteness. I’d be remiss to not say that out loud. My friend Hess Love wrote a very insightful article addressing White Supremacy, Fatphobia and Colonialism.

Second of all, Fat-Shaming is very real and only one thing on a list of challenges people of a certain size face. Fat-shaming is defined as criticizing people to make them feel ashamed enough to lose weight. It does not work. It actually has quite the opposite affect. Many times critics are people who have never had to struggle with weight and who won’t say anything to their 350 pound momma. If you are not a healthcare professional, you have nWo business addressing someone else’s health. Weight is no measure of character and is no excuse to mistreat someone. It’s none of your business and if you’re doing it to a stranger behind a screen, you’re only doing it to make yourself feel better. Stop offering your unsolicited opinions, especially on people’s bodies. Nobody asked you.

But that’s not why I’m here.

I’m here about the section of the Body Positive Movement that shames people for losing weight.

The Body Positive Movement promotes being happy with your body at any size. From my view, it is largely just a marketing campaign. These days, more women are a size 12+ so (depending where you are and what you’re selling) it isn’t as profitable to JUST make clothing sizes 0-10 anymore. Clothing companies dgaf about you or your health. They only care about your money. If the people with money are a size 22, they’ll make size 22 available so they can get that coin.

I have a T-Shirt company (shameless plug!). When I started out I bought S, M, L, & XL shirts. Since many of my customers are grown ass Black women, I wasn’t moving those Smalls and Mediums at all. XXL and XXXL make up a good number of shirts I sell so those are what I buy first. Capitalism drives all things in this section of the world. The Body Positive Movement wasn’t made for body positivity for real.

As a Black woman that’s size is well into the double digits, I can appreciate the body positive movement. It DOES make me feel good and included to scroll through IG and see more girls that wear my size promoting clothes that will actually fit my body. I know exactly how bad it feels to not be able to find your size in a store. I still rarely go into the fitting room or even shop for clothes. One of my favorite stores, Old Navy just recently started going past size 12 in pants and offering XXL and XXXL shirts. I remember a time when stores like Lane Bryant were the only place I was going to find a pair of pants that fit. (It’s still one of the only places I’m gonna find a bra, pray for me.) Again, this movement in large part was created just to sell clothes and I’m buying them.

While I do believe there are many well-intentioned people behind the movement for Body Positivity and that we should love ourselves regardless of our physical state, I think the movement has the potential to be dangerous and I’ve experienced this potential first hand.

A couple of years ago, I was invited to a community group for fat people by a classmate of mine. I guess I thought eating healthier and physical activity would be involved and when I asked, the response was hostile to say the least. Frankly, it was a group for fat people to meet up… and eat. I always want to support anyone attempting to do something positive but I couldn’t reconcile being part of community of people hostile to weight loss when weight loss was one of my accomplishments and goals. I felt so guilty and shallow.

I ended up in a long unproductive Facebook debate. My fear was that the health implications behind being overweight were being denied and ignored. I talked about how much better I felt because of recent weight loss and them bitches they down played my hard work. They were attempting to gas light me into thinking the improvement in my health had nothing to do with my weight loss.

I had followed a strict diet for a month, dropped 20 lbs and as a result normalized my blood pressure and reversed pre-diabetes. I was proud of myself and they brushed it off. I ended up telling them in so many words they were full of shit and of course, got blocked. That is one of the only times in my life I’ve ever felt bullied.

Now, lets talk about this picture. I looked up the website that created it, and here’s what they have to say about before/after pics. I don’t disagree with most of their views. But the context in which I saw this picture is problematic and becoming a trend so lets address that.

How is shaming people for making a choice about their body ‘Body Positive’? How (in response to abortion legislation) do you scream about a woman’s choice then a week later say ‘fuck her’ for losing weight? In my last blog, I said Pro-Life people weren’t REALLY pro-life, but I’m starting to realize pro-choice people aren’t REALLY Pro-Choice. Many so-called liberals, social justice warriors, and people who fancy themselves ‘conscious’ and ‘woke’ are really pro-you doing only what they agree with or pro-you doing what THEY want to do with THEIR body.

I see this parallel in how women who go on ‘slut-walks’ turn around and shame women who chose to wait until marriage, be stay at home moms or chose not to post their whole birth canal on the ‘gram. That’s why y’all love to hate Ayesha Curry. But that’s a different blog for a different day. The point I’m trying to make is, some pro-choicers are fulla shit too and that there is a Regina George in every group, even those fighting for equality.

Furthermore, if you were that secure and content in your body, seeing someone choosing to lose weight and celebrating it wouldn’t be such a trigger for you. We don’t see things as they are. We see thing as WE are. Nobody posting their fitness journey is thinking about you or trying to offend you. My grandaddy always reminded us “you just aren’t that important”. In many situations, the hostility you feel for others is really the hostility you feel for yourself and your choices. The big mental health challenge of social media is constantly seeing people’s highlight reels and feeling inadequate by comparison. That’s all being mad about somebody’s before/after is. You’re unhappy with your ‘before’, lying to yourself and that has nothing to do with the person on your screen and everything to do with you.

The community and encouragement I’ve received from posting about my weight loss has really benefited both my mental and physical health. I am encouraged and motivated by the fitness journeys I’ve seen and want to provide that same encouragement to someone else.  I’m supposed to not post my journey to make YOU feel better? What about how I feel? This particular section of the movement is narcissistic, insecure, self-centered, projecting and needs to keep that toxic energy over there.

“Posting weight loss shows which bodies you value.”
It absolutely does. Mine is the body that I value, that’s why I’m making healthier choices for it. I am capable of choosing to lose weight and still valuing/fighting for a person who chooses not to.

I’m not qualified or willing to tell you why you should lose weight. That is none of my business. I can only speak for myself. 5’2″ carrying around 310 pounds was one of the most unhealthy points in my life. Granted, a large part of that was my mental health. Stress caused me to develop a very unhealthy relationship with food and I was trapped in a vicious cycle. 40-ish pounds later, my skin is clearer, my hair and nails are growing faster, my period is more bearable, my blood pressure is normal and I’m able to tackle life’s problems with more confidence; not because of my looks but because I set a goal and was able to accomplish it. I am proud and will be on the social medias celebrating and not apologizing.

Which brings me to my next point; your triggers are your responsibility. You have the freedom to choose what you will be exposed to. To protect your energy, you should be very intentional about what comes across your screen. For my sanity, I do not watch videos of cops harassing/killing Black and Brown people. I rarely read stories about children being abused. I took a 5 month break off of Facebook after Surviving R.Kelly. I have my own father blocked. I don’t have the right to tell people what they can and cannot post. I only have the right to refuse to be exposed to it and enthusiastically unfollow, block and delete.

In conclusion, if weight wasn’t a factor in health, we wouldn’t lose it when we started making healthier choices. Our bodies are made to carry a certain amount of weight, period. Our organs struggle to function when surrounded by too much weight. I am an activist passionate about the freedom of my people and that includes our physical health too. I’ve lost many family members to diabetes and heart disease. As long as I’m walking by caskets and visiting hospitals about problems that could be solved with lifestyle changes, I’m not going to be quiet about health to appease anyone. Any movement that makes anyone feel guilty for losing weight is not a movement at all, it’s a group of mean girls.

Fuck my weight loss pictures?
Fuck you.

-C

 

 

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If you’re pro-life, you’re full of… : A Rant on the Latest Abortion Legislation

I’m about to rant and there will be cuss words.

Last week, Alabama set us back a hundred years and (25 red necks republican men) passed the most restrictive abortion ban in the country. The WOMAN governor signed bill last week. Since we now have a very conservative leaning supreme court, state legislatures have made it clear that Roe v. Wade is under attack.

Under the bullshit bill, abortion would be a felony. Doctors who perform them would face up to 99 years in prison. There are NO exceptions for rape or incest.

Alabama is on a growing list of states with ‘6-week’ bills. Georgia, Ohio, Mississippi, Iowa, North Dakota and my old Kentucky home have all banned abortions post 6 weeks. Pro-bullshit groups call these “heartbeat” bills because they ban abortions once a heartbeat is detected which is usually in the embryonic stage at 6 weeks. This is severely restrictive because 6 weeks is only 2 weeks after a missed period and most people find out they’re pregnant around 8-12 weeks. These bans leave a very small window of time to one, find out you’re pregnant and 2, have the procedure done. Presently, abortions are legal up to around 24 weeks.

The goal of this legislation to establish a fetus as a person.
If a fetus is a person:
Does child support start at conception?
Does maternity leave start at conception.
Is an ultrasound child p-rnography?
Do pregnant people get to vote twice?
Is your birthday now when parents fu.. conceived you?

Fetuses are not people. They do not have legal rights. At 6 weeks, a fetus is literally a parasite. I have a garden. My seeds were not food when they were put in the ground a month and a half ago.

Moreover, these laws set a very dangerous precedent. In Ohio, there is a pregnant 11 year old rape victim who under the law would be required to carry her 26 year old rapist’s baby. Is anybody else’s mind blown but mine? The doctor who would perform the abortion would probably get more jail time than the 26 year old man who raped an 11 year old girl!

The pro-life vs. pro-choice debate has in my opinion always been a waste of time. At the end of the day, if a stranger I have no connection to decides to make a personal choice about their own body, how is my life affected?

Pro-Lifers are full of shit. Here’s why I think so. 

People enjoy being passionate and outraged about issues they don’t really have any control over so they won’t be in danger of actually doing anything. I have never met a pro-lifer who adopted or fostered children. Pro-lifers sit at the same table with those outraged about Colin Kaepernick kneeling because of ‘the troops’ but who keep voting for lawmakers who consistently vote against the best interest of veterans. Their outrage is very selective. When it comes to symbolism, like standing for the national anthem or sticking a ‘pro-life’ sticker on their Subaru they participate. But when it comes to substance, like holding politicians accountable and adopting/fostering those children they really want to be born, they are absent.

Likewise, Pro-Life is one of the tenants of what it means to be a political conservative. Republicans are passionate about the government not playing a large role in people’s lives while simultaneously inserting laws into women’s wombs. Offering legislation and ideals for my reproductive system is REAL involved, guys.  They also favor less government spending on social programs. So if you don’t get an abortion? Great. But when your child needs healthcare, food and education? LOL.

Second, Pro-Life is a largely Catholic ideal (Yes, I’m going there). How do you reconcile being ‘Pro-life’ but doing nothing when priests rape children for decades on an international scale? You’re so concerned about them being born but not so concerned about millions of them being raped for years? That does not add up.

Furthermore, the reality is, 100% of pregnancies are a result of men’s orgasms. So if we want children to be born into the best conditions possible, we need to address men’s bodies not women. Women can only make a baby every 9 months. Men can make a child every day. Why are their bodies not subject to legislation? As I’ve said before, Alyssa Milano is full of shit but I don’t think a sex strike is such a bad idea. Until women can decide what they want to do to their bodies, they should stay away from sperm. (I know y’all hoes ain’t gon do that though so here’s an article on other ways you can help women subject to extreme abortion bans.)

I have never been pregnant. So I’ve never had to grapple with the choice of carrying a child or not. But I deserve the choice and so do all women. The only people who should discuss a woman’s health care are that woman and her doctor. Period. It is a waste of time and energy for men who will never have to make such a decision to even have an opinion. There are PLENTY of issues legislatures need to address. Abortion had ALREADY been addressed almost 50 years ago.

Ultimately, no one can take away a woman’s choice. If a woman wants to get an abortion, she can get one. Women were getting abortions before Roe vs. Wade in 1973 and they will continue to do so after restrictive legislation in 2019. The problem is how dangerous the procedure will become once it is illegal. If the government can provide needle exchange programs to keep addicts safe, it should provide abortions for women to keep them safe. We can all agree you probably shouldn’t shoot heroin or opiates in your veins right? Does that mean we shouldn’t provide clean needles? Likewise the fact that some of us don’t believe in abortion should not mean that people who DO believe in it should not have access to it.

Lastly, (cause I know someone is going to ‘aint-you-a-Christian?’ me) as a believer, I do not see a biblical basis for being pro-life. My Bible says to ‘do justice, love mercy and to walk humbly’. (Micah 6:8) Taking away a woman’s choice is an injustice I will continue to speak out about even against my siblings in Christ. If an abortion is a sin, the same God who shows YOU mercy in spite of your sins, will show her mercy. Right? Christians must stop using the Bible as an excuse to mistreat, judge and put people in danger of not receiving the best healthcare possible. A woman or girl getting a dangerous back-alley abortion and dying from it will not make the Christian in me feel better.

If you don’t believe in abortion, don’t get one. 

Let me get my red robe and white bonnet ready…

Thank you so much for reading, supporting, kind words and sharing. Follow me on IG/Snap/Twitter at @CarrieKeepPushn. (I’m on a social media fast for the next week, but I’ll be back to shenanigans soon!)

– C

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Commentary on Demetra Nyx & Alyssa Milano: White People Don’t Have Enough Problems.

A few weeks ago, my mother and I were on our way home. It was 10pm and cold outside. A white woman was running down the street, presumably for exercise. Of course, we had the ‘white people are white-people-ing’ conversation. Why in hell, are you running in the dark and cold? You’re less than a mile away from a treadmill inside a well-lit gym, Karen.

During undergrad, I remember sitting in a meeting of a certain organization listening to a white woman proclaim how much she enjoyed her period. I thought to myself, hoping it didn’t show on my face, “you’re outta your white ass mind.” 

White people don’t have enough to do.
White people don’t enough problems. As a result, they tend to create dangerous situations and faux-oppression for themselves.

From climbing a mountain with no harness, to bungee jumping, surfing, hang gliding, to running outside in the dark and then crying on 20/20, white people obviously have an adrenaline deficiency they’re trying to fulfill. None of the above activities seem reasonable or fun to my Black ass. My experience is different though. I have no shortage of adrenaline. I know this whole thing could end any time if for no other reason I’m at the intersection of Black, Woman and Queer. I look at every cop with the knowledge he could kill me and get away with it. I look at every white woman wondering if she’s going to call the police on me for exhaling too loud. I have no shortage of fear and problems.

Since the tangerine tyrant won the Presidential election over HRC, social justice is now mainstream. It’s laughable to me as social justice has been at the forefront of my mind since The Jena 6. Activism is my goal and calling. I’m tired of seeing people hopping on the bandwagon for 15 minutes.
 
White people WANT to be oppressed so bad. I do not label myself a feminist in part because at its inception white women were just trying to make sure Black men didn’t have more rights than them. There were no Black women at Seneca Falls. White women remind me every election that feminism is not mine when they put their ‘I voted’ stickers on Susan B. Anthony’s grave. Fuck Susan B. Anthony.
 

 

At the time I’m writing this, I’m 2 months into a Facebook hiatus (for my mental health, weight loss goals and my dislike of people). I peak at Twitter every now and again. But after these posts, I’m considering going back to being blissfully unplugged. The two people in particular facilitating my complete exit from digital civilization are Demetra Nyx and Alyssa Milano.

Let’s talk about Demetra first to get it out of the way cause I’m grossed out. An article entitled ‘Feminist Smears Menstrual Blood on Her Face to Show Periods are Beautiful and Powerful’ scurried across my timeline. Demetra is a 26-year-old Los Angeles sex coach who said, “Sharing pictures of blood on my face and body was just an impulse – I was creating a series to help women connect with their menstrual cycle, and I thought it would be fun.”

Cut the shit, Demetra. Our periods are not fun or beautiful.

As someone with a period, I’m fully ‘connected’ to this 28-ish day cycle. Physically, mentally and emotionally for nearly two decades, I know exactly when and what’s going on concerning my cycle. There is no more intense connection then cramps, bleeding, an irrational chocolate craving, acne, fatigue and a hurricane of a mood. I deserve some type of monthly award for managing to not get pregnant every month instead of this shit.

I realize that not everybody’s period is as bad as mine but I think we do ourselves a disservice when we try to make this cycle something its not. Frankly, it sucks for a lot of women. It is not fun, it is anything but beautiful. We don’t frolic in Lilly fields wearing white pants giving thanks that we get to bleed for a week.

 
The 20 year old me felt very alienated sitting in that circle of white woman gushing over having a period. The (almost) 30 year old me is not going to fake the funk anymore. My period is not fun. It sucks. I do not have to enjoy everything. Somethings in life are bad. I will not want to share everything on Instagram and that’s OK.
 
We also need to address that ‘free bleeding’ (a hoax) , rubbing your Menstrual blood on your body and using it for paint is disgusting, unsanitary and blood STINKS when it hits the air. I’m no expert, but its leaving our bodies for a reason. It is a natural process, yes. Our bodies have many ways to eject what is no longer needed. That is no excuse to rub the results on your face. If we aren’t going to use tampons/cups/pads, what use do we have for band-aids and toilets? Why bathe at all?! Its all natural, ain’t it?
 
*shudder*
 
There IS a conversation that needs to be had around menstruation.
&
 
 

The second white woman we’re going to discuss is Alyssa Milano. This morning, I saw this tweet:

 
Gtfoh. You’re Alyssa fucking Milano. You are a rich, cishet white woman. 
 
I would be lying if I said I was surprised by Alyssa’s latest antics. Two years ago my auntie-in-my-mind Hannah Drake told Milano to stop her performative justice. It seems she still hasn’t learned.

Oppression and identities are not a trendy T-shirt, pink hat or, God forbid blood to put on when it’s convenient. The very fact that your brand of oppression can be taken off, proves that it is not oppression at all. We do not have the option or convenience of taking our identities off. This intersection of identities is not one that we can get on a plane, train or automobile to take a vacation from. Believe me, we would if we could.

In this social justice production, your role as a person of with a certain amount of privilege: a white person in this case is an important one. Justice does not happen without advocates. The progress we have made would not be possible without allies. There are people who will NEVER listen to someone like me. Those same people will definitely listen to the Alyssas and Demetras of the world if for no other reason for the fact that they are pretty white women. Unfortunately, more often than not, those people are the very ones with the power to change. I am not holding my breath waiting on Alyssa or Demetra to be allies or advocates though. Their actions have told me what their true goal is.

When Alyssa Milano claims identities that are not her own, when Demtra Nyx… gosh I can’t even say it… uses her menstrual blood as paint, they are doing NOTHING but centering themselves. They are not being revolutionary. They are not cultivating progressive conversations. They are not leading a movement. All they are doing is fighting battles that are only real in their mind and frankly stressing me the fuck out.

I’m offended and baffled by fake outrage and fabricated oppression in a world where there is plenty oppression and a myraid of REAL reasons to be outraged. I’m worried that Demetra’s antics will take attention off of the student whose male-teacher won’t let her go to the bathroom when she starts bleeding, or the inmate or homeless person that has to put their health in jeopardy by using toilet paper as make-shift tampons.

 
I’m worried that Alyssa Milano claiming she’s ‘trans’ will distract from the fact that transwomen of color have a life expectancy of 35, that when she says she’s a ‘person of color’ she’s taking attention from the fact that the cops who murdered Stephon Clark won’t even be charged.
 
Social justice is real. The fight is an uphill battle. We do not need the distractions. Alyssa and Demetra, get out of the way. Wipe your face off and rest those twitter fingers. You look silly.
 

And while your practicing your hush, here’s a Guide to Allyship.

Keep Pushin’

– CAGW

 

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I was only going to see Madea because Tyler Perry is Black.

I love movies. I love going to the movies. My senior year of high school, my friends and I would skip and watch movies all afternoon. Looking back, I should’ve avoided all this student loan debt and became a movie critic. I haven’t ruled it out.

As a card carrying member of the community, my favorite movie genre is Black. In the immortal words of Issa Rae, “I’m rooting for everybody Black.” I feel an obligation to support Black movies regardless. Recently I’ve found myself having the conversation with myself that Dre is having with his kids in this clip because I’ve realized going to see Black movies means I’ll either be traumatized or disappointed. (I REALLY want to see Captain Marvel this weekend. Samuel L. Jackson no longer counts though, he got that white dollar down.)

For example, when I finally mustered up the courage to watch Detroit, I had to pause the movie for a full blown panic attack. I was inconsolable during Fruitvale Station (even though I knew the story).  I was PISSED when I left the theater after Birth of a Nation. I cried in the car after 42 (I was also going through a break up, don’t judge me) and I completely lost it at the end of Hidden Figures. I am not one to display emotion easily. These movies were huge triggers. I’m WEARY.

I’m exhausted by Black movies.

My mom is my movie partner. She’s been recovering from surgery and we hadn’t been in a few months. Last week, we got started again with What Men Want. I liked it. Erykah Badu’s character was HILARIOUS.

Here’s the thing. The movies my mom is going to see are limited. She likes lite, fluffy movies. She won’t go see slasher/horror films. This weekend, I want to see Happy Death Day 2U and Greta. I’ve been wanting to see Prodigy but those are out of the question if I want my mom to go and my local friends are very limited. I don’t mind going alone sometimes. I went to see Cold Pursuit alone. I liked that one too. I know we mad at Liam, but I’m a sucker for a kill everybody movie.

Anyway, tasked with choosing a movie we’ll both go see, I ask her if she wants to go see A Madea Family Funeral. She side eyed me! Her only daughter! Looked at me like I was crazy!

“No, I’m not spending my money on anymore Madea movies. Only way I’m going to see that movie is if Tyler Perry buys my ticket…. and picks me up.”

 

I laughed for a whole 60 seconds. But I aint gonna lie. I was relieved.

I do not want to go see A Madea Family Funeral. I had only planned on it because Tyler Perry is Black and he’s the star, supporting characters, producer, and director of the movie.

(We should probably consider the fact he’s a bit narcissistic and that keeps him from making quality movies because he won’t hire good actors or a director but I digress.)

Madea movies are not good. Madea movies are bad. There I said it.

 

From the plot, to the dialogue. Madea movies leave a lot to be desired. But the quality of Madea movies aren’t the only problem. The characters are cringeworthy, especially in the company of white people.

My Blackness won’t allow me to laugh at Madea WITH white people. White people love Madea because she’s exactly who they think Black and Brown women are; big, obnoxious, violent, unattractive, temperamental and funny. Tyler Perry’s characters are the kind of Black people white people aren’t threatened by. That’s why they flock to his movies and not other Black movies. White people didn’t go see The Hate U Give and Moonlight (also cried during that one). They were tricked into seeing Get Out. White people didn’t go see ‘Black’ movies before Madea.

Even in Perry’s movies without Madea (Why Did I Get Married,The Family That Preys), he almost NEVER portrays Black women positively. Tyler loves putting damaged, bitter, psycho, insecure, ignorant Black women in his movies. I really think this nigga hates us sometimes.

Furthermore, I’m tired of homophobic nig… Black people being the first in line to see a man put on a dress for entertainment. Is “manhood under attack” or isn’t it? Is the “gay agenda” and the “feminization of Black men a threat to the Black family” or do we love Madea? You can’t have it both ways.

Billy Porter, Oscars 2019 Red Carpet

We cannot clutch our pearls at an openly gay man in a dress on the Oscar’s red carpet and then turn around and keep supporting “straight” men who make a caricature out of Black women. You’re not threatened by feminine men, you’re threatened by someone being comfortable in their sexuality.

Y’all are comfortable with Madea because you’ve fooled yourselves into thinking Tyler Perry is straight (ha!) and because Madea movies have Christian themes.
Let me say this out loud, cause yall ain’t gonna accuse me of anything… I don’t for one second think there’s ANY gay agenda or that the government makes Black men put on dresses to destroy families. Heterosexual people don’t need ANY help destroying the Black family. Y’all are doing a great job. (Like when y’all humiliate your children for Instagram likes and Facebook comments). I’m just pointing out your hypocrisy. Tyler Perry and Billy Porter are the LEAST of yall’s problem.

Anyway, I’ve long reconciled that the personal is always political and even when I just want to be entertained, I’m burdened with my conscious. My awareness won’t let me watch a bad, problematic movie with white people and homophobic Black ones. I try not to be too woke to have fun, but it happens. Not to mention that until I monetize it, movie going is not cheap.

So, I’m not going to see Madea this weekend because I don’t want to… and I’m STILL Black af.

-CAGW
Follow me on snapchat, twitter and instagram at @CarrieKeepPushn!
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A Comprehensive List of What I’m Not Discussing in 2019

Happy New Year, friends! First of all, thank you so much for your support. I’m starting a weight loss vlog situation, so follow @carriekeeppushn on instagram, twitter and snapchat for all the fun! Lets get to it!

This year whenever social media would stress me, my mom would say something along the lines of, “there are many things in life you HAVE to do that stress you. This isn’t one of them.” She would always encourage me to simply disconnect with the people that upset me. Unfriend, unfollow, block, whatever.

I’ve made unfriending and unfollowing a habit in the latter part of this year, and it is always a relief reminding myself that I don’t have to do this.

I quickly realized that it wasn’t just people that were the issues, certain conversations were too. So, I started this list formerly known as ‘What I’m not arguing about on Facebook Anymore’ to ‘What I’m not discussing in 2019’ as they cause unnecessary stress and anxiety. This is my final (public) word on these issues.

Vaccination: I don’t even like healthy children. I REALLY don’t like sick ones. This issue doesn’t need any more of my energy because I don’t have children. When I do have children, they will be vaccinated and if you or your children are not vaccinated you can’t come to my house and see my newborn. If you haven’t been to medical school, I’m not taking medical advice from thee.

Your Pastor/My Pastor: It just gets too ugly too quickly. Pastors are off limits. We can talk about other people’s pastors though.

Child Support: This conversation is too personal to me, as I’m the child of a mother who received very little financial support from my father. Hearing anyone complain about having to pay child support, twist logic into why its too much or they shouldn’t have to pisses me off as I’m still waiting on my father to be a parent (and will be turning 30 in 2019). I HATE debates about how much celebrities should have to pay because why the hell wouldn’t you want your kids and the person taking care of them to have as comfortable as a lifestyle as you?!

Two conversations in particular that sparked this were a woman helping her fiance get out of paying child support to his baby’s mommas (I can’t find it) and Matt Barnes and Rob Kardashian. I’m pretty sure I lost friends from both conversations. Also, posts like this one.

Wear condoms. Get to know somebody before you have a baby with them.

R. Kelly, Bill Cosby, etc… Basically any Black man who has raped and abused women that yall defend because you like their music/movies/TV show/athleticism. Heathcliff Huxtable does not exist. He is not your father. R. Kelly cannot make music good enough to justify raping dozens of Black girls and women. There is no music good enough. This upsets me as a victim, as a Black woman and a person who loves many Black girls and women. I just wish it would upset you too. No conversation makes me feel more hopeless, fearful and alone.

“People always trying to tear down the Black man!” Bill Cosby wasn’t going to by NBC, CBS, CNN, ABC, or DEF, or GHI. That’s not how networks work and IF he was going to make a purchase, some white person or group of white people with more money would’ve bought it first.

Why you can’t call me a ‘female’ or use the N word (white people): because I said so. Any other conversation is a disregard for my feelings and you aren’t worth the time a conversation will take anyway.

Birth Control/Abortion: I’m pro-choice and pro-mindyabusiness. Women should have access to abortions, birth control and hysterectomies without the approval of any man that may or may not be in their life. They should also have access to free birth control, pap smears/testing, mammograms, a year for maternity leave and paid time off during the worst 2 days of menstruation. Fight me.

Christmas, Halloween, Easter: I’m not arguing with Christians who think they’ll get a better seat in Heaven for not celebrating the aforementioned holidays and for telling us why those of us who choose to shouldn’t EVERY DAMN YEAR as if they are presenting new information or have some special access to the Holy Ghost the rest of us don’t have.

Breast Feeding: Again, it doesn’t need my energy because I don’t have children. Put a blanket over YOUR head if breasts disgust you, but also close that porn hub link with breasts in it before you argue why breasts are inappropriate. I’ll probably breast feed publicly (depending on the opinion of my partner) because people typically know better than to try me.

Gender Reveal Parties: If you want to have a party celebrating your unborn child’s penis or vagina, by all means. I think they are narcissistic and unecessary. You don’t know anyone’s gender until they tell you. Yall real concerned about the ‘gay agenda’ and your children. Gender reveal parties are the ‘straight agenda’. LOL

Transgender People: If I have to convince you why any group of people are human and worthy of respect and protection you, again aren’t worth the time a conversation would take. If you are speculating about someone’s genitals, you probably haven’t even washed your own today. The life expectancy of trans women of color is 35. THIRTY FIVE. Your antagonistic language contributes to their deaths. This isn’t something I’m willing to joke about or hear ‘its not that serious.’ because IT IS THAT SERIOUS. There are transgender people in my life that I love and will protect at all costs. Use the correct pronouns, do not use the wrong pronouns to insult. Do not catch these hands.

Sex Workers: I saw a meme that said ‘Is she a prostitute or a provider?’ Does what she eat make you shit, nigga?

You’re just mad they’re getting paid to do what you give away. They are no less worthy of respect because of their profession. The industry needs to be regulated and protected. If two consensual adults want to engage in a business transaction, they should be able to. You like sex don’t you? You watch porn? You should support sex work.


Mediocrity in Romantic Relationships:
“Should you fix your man’s plate?”
“Who eats first, your husband or your children?”
“If he pays for dinner, do you leave the tip?”
“Is sitting in the park eating sour patch straws a date?”

These are questions broke, mediocre, dumbass, men pose looking for Pick-me Penelopes who think having a penis (that probably can’t give a woman an orgasm) entitles them to being treated like a ‘KANG’.

Translation to all these questions: Since you’re a Black woman, you’ll take the bare minimum, right?

And yes, I know.. ‘not all men’ an ‘choose better men’. I know.



This concludes the list. I’ve had these conversations, these arguments, the ANXIETY. I’ve used all the energy I’m going to use on people who don’t have the maturity to disagree without it getting personal, with people not as informed as I am and with nignogs who insist on gaslighting and being loud and wrong.


I’ve been purging items all day. I’ve purged these discussions. I feel so much better. I feel refreshed and motivated. I got goals, nigga.

Nothing magical is going to happen at midnight. You will be the same person you were at December 1st, 11:59pm as you are January 1st, 12:00am. It is up to you to decide that you’re going to make a change, that you’re tired, that you’re fed the fuck up.

Please follow my weight-loss journey at @CarrieKeepPushn and look out for updates right here.



Thank you so much for your support. Like, comment, and share! What are you leaving in 2018? What are you taking with you to 2019?

Keep Pushin!
– Carrie






What’s wrong with white men?!

29138219_10214022411253215_1604364373_n“He was polite, a deep thinker…”
“… a very challenged young man”
“seemed like a smart kid who showed a lot of promise”
“he came from a tight-knit, godly family”

These quotes describe Mark Anthony Conditt, the 23 year old white guy who before blowing himself up carried out terrorist attacks via bombs in FedEx packages for the better part of a month in Austin, TX. These attacks resulted in the murders of Anthony House and Draylen Mason (both Black men) as well as the injuring others.

You’re familiar with the adage from James Baldwin “To be Negro in this country and … conscious is to be in a constant state of rage.” I don’t want to be in a constant state of rage and constantly try to avoid it by choosing my battles, but I’m going to have to choose this one. I hear the conversations around gun control, mental health and bullying but nobody is going to say it so I will.

White men are the problem.

In my Tonald Drump voice, we gotta figure out what the hell is wrong with white men?

Not only are white men the problem, the media constantly bends itself into a pretzel to humanize even the worst of them.

In the trend of white men going ape shit, the cops and politicians (IF they say anything) are always very careful to NOT say its terrorism or a hate crime. I call bullshit. The current cultural connotation of the word terrorism is brown and Muslim. According to the dictionary terrorism is violence in the pursuit of political aims.

2016’s  New York bomb was called terrorism. A Muslim with a name we can’t pronounce from a country we can’t point to on a map carried out an attack in the name of ISIS. We can all agree that’s terrorism and those with the microphones were quick to call it terrorism even BEFORE they had any evidence of it.

When I was reading the article about the latest white male terrorist, I thought I was reading the obituary of a victim and not the attacker. He was “polite”, “a deep thinker”, had “many challenges”. Why do those that control the narrative try so hard to humanize White men no matter what they do; while at the same time trying to harden and criminalize Black victims? White supremacy is the short answer.

The foundation of the United States of America is white supremacy. It was colonized by white men who carried out a genocide of brown and red people, then enslaved Black people to build it. America would not be what it is economically or culturally had it not been for white supremacy. Once America addresses and admits its original sin, she can begin to atone for it. Until then, we going straight to hell and I’m calling everyone out. You can’t whoop me.

I have it better than my ancestors and for that I’m thankful. I’ve never had to look for the colored section of anything but, white supremacy still affects us, its just a different flavor.

The 2018 version of white supremacy isn’t white robes and ropes hanging from trees, it’s the media painting Stephen Paddock who killed 50 people “enjoyed country music and lived a quiet life.”

It says of Nikolas Cruz who walked in his alma mater and shot 33 innocent people that he was ‘lost and lonely’

The guy that drove into a crowd of peaceful protesters? James Feilds, Jr. “had trouble making friends”, was a “very quiet little boy”.

180323143839-02-stephon-clark-family-exlarge-169On the other hand, Trayvon Martin a teenager murdered for no reason was called a ‘thug’ because he had on a hoodie on a cold rainy night.

2018’s white supremacy murders Jordan Davis because he was playing ‘thug music’ and then goes home and orders a pizza. It insists Eric Garner died of a heart attack after being choked to death and saying “I can’t breath.” 11 times. Stephon Clark was holding a fucking cell phone in his grandmomma’s back yard and shot at 20 times.

According to Vox, since ole boy took office, more Americans have been murdered by white men than by Muslim men. As a matter of fact, since 9/11, more Americans have been killed by homegrown right-wing terrorists than Muslim ones. I’m not denying that there are Muslim extremist groups that are a threat and we should probably keep one eye on them, but I am arguing that as American citizens we are more likely to be killed by a Christian white dude so we need to vet them too. But we know white supremacy isn’t rooted in logic.

In my opinion, we need to take a serious look at the psychology of the American white (straight, cis) white man and figure out why there is a different mass shooting/bombing every week. The rest of us do not go on killing sprees because of life’s circumstances. Did nobody teach white men to deal with inconvenience? We can talk about mental health and gun control, but we have to talk about white men if we want to stop mass shootings and bombings.

I’m mentally ill and that’s putting it nicely. I’m NUTS. I was bullied about my hair. My father couldn’t be bothered. I never felt an urge to kill a bunch of innocent strangers about it. I’m not saying I’d never shoot anybody, I’m just saying if I did, I’d have a reason. I’m trying to figure out what is it about the white male experience that makes him lose his marbles at experiences that are regular to the rest of us. Why kill a bunch of innocent strangers?

Furthermore, why don’t the people around him see that he’s a terrorist? There are people in my life that if they did something I’d be like “oh yea, they did that shit. guilty as hell. been crazy since they were born.” (I ain’t no snitch though) You mean to tell me that NOBODY around these terrorists saw it coming? There’s a FEW people in my life I make sure don’t have access to guns and explosives.

What if Black women went on killing sprees every time they were bullied?! What if Black women had time to make bombs?

In my humble opinion, I think that white men are used to being on top in every aspect of society. They are teaching their sons that they are special if for no other reasons than they are white men and the world is changing. We like to say that racism is over. But the guys that are carrying out these terrorist attacks are 20 something millennials whose parents been lying to them.

They must come to terms with being a white man isn’t enough anymore and that white mediocrity won’t always win. We had a Black president, a woman almost became one so they had to go get the poster child for white mediocrity and elect him. He’s racist, sexist, an all around buffoon and has emboldened mediocre white men everywhere. We in danger, yall.

In conclusion, I’m not a mental health expert… This is just my theory. I wish I could spend my energy on something else (listening to Snoop’s Gospel album) but I like going to church and the movies and don’t want to get shot. I live in Kentucky, issa lotta white men here. I got to be vigilant. A relative and I were at Hobby Lobby and this white man reaches into his coat (for what we later figured out were his car keys), and we paused and grabbed each other.

White men are the issue this time. I’ve had to take on alotta heavy loads for ALL Black women (and Black people at times) so I’m glad to give something to white men. White men are the issue. They are the domestic terrorists. They are the reason ole boy is in office. White men have a permanent spot on my prayer list.

#StopWhiteMen2018

If this blog entry upsets you, remember that you can’t whoop my ass and I only argue on Sundays. Wakanda Forever.

-CGW

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Men Are Bitches.

I don’t usually post timely blogs cause I don’t want you all to get used to consistency and I want a timeless element to the blog. This one however wouldn’t leave me alone. Oh. Here’s a language disclaimer. I’m saved. I cuss.

According to dictionary.com,
Bitch [bich]: 1. female dog 2. a malicious, unpleasant or selfish person, especially a woman 3. to complain

The word bitch is usually reserved for women. Because of the hierarchy of feminine and masculine, no man wants to be called a bitch. I’m pretty sure the men reading are angry at me right now. A hit dog will holla. Lots of men (especially those cisgender and heterosexual) value their masculinity and ‘bitch’ is opposite of masculine. It’s cowardly, emotional, weak, soft, fragile. Men tell upset little boys “quit crying like a lil bitch!” I’m emasculating you by calling you a bitch, sir. I just want you to pay attention to what I’m saying. Society is largely patriarchal. Our political and corporate leaders, athletes, favorite artists a lot of times are men. I’m a cultural critic. I’m critiquing. Get into it.

I’m pretty logical. I know not all men are bitches. So, I’m going to be specific. Lets start at the top.

The President

We don’t speak his name. Kinda like Voldemort in Harry Potter. We call him ’45’ in my house. My president is Maxine Waters. VP is Beyonce. I said what I said.

I would argue that since the leader of the country is a bitch, the standard has been lowered. He’s still holding rallies after he won the whole election because he’s so insecure, he needs crowds of people to cheer for him to feel good about himself. It would be funny to watch if he wasn’t the chief diplomat. He’s a coward. He called an American citizen exercising his first amendment right a ‘son of a bitch’. He didn’t call white supremacists/neo nazis SOBS, the Taliban/Al-Qaeda (or whatever brown/Muslim people we fighting), Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong-Un, Hurricanes, or any true opponents SOBS. This bitch waited until he was in Alabama (not the HBCU part evidently) where he knew he would get applause to call athletes standing up for something righteous SOBs. Call Colin, LeBron, or Stephs SOBs to their face. He’s a political PickMe Penelope.

Bitch honorable mention: Congress for not impeaching him.

Piers Morgan

I woke up from a nap and Piers Morgan was trending but not dead. He tweeted this bull.

Using the N-word must give old white men erections. Piers’ bitch ass wanted to say ‘niggas’ so bad he brought up a 12 year old song. I promise a few rappers have used ‘nigga’ a few times since “Gold Digger”.  Piers used ‘nigga’ more than I do and I’m a nigga that says nigga all the time. Click on the picture to read the article. Piers is a respected journalist. He be on CNN and shit. Why is he constantly trolling black people to stay relevant? Doesn’t he know that #BlackTwitter does not posses the grace of Jesus?

White people. You don’t get to offer your opinion on the N-Word. I don’t get to offer my opinion on Lacrosse. I barely know what it is. Do you want to call me a nigga? Do you want to get hit in the mouth? Do not use it. Period. The whites are so used to having access to EVERYDAMN THING that they can’t wrap their minds around not having access to a word. One word.

Bitch honorable mention: Alpha Pi Sorority for rapping along and not omitting the N-word. That’s in the white fan of hip-hop handbook.

Another Bitch honorable mention: Niggas that don’t like being called niggas.

The NFL

Oh yall bitches wanna kneel and lock arms now? Some of yall bitches just gonna stay in the locker room? Football is an aggressive sport. They hit each other so hard their brains start deteriorating and they literally go CRAZY before 50 or earlier. But when it comes to injustice, they are rather docile. We are all too docile to injustice in my opinion. Colin Kaepernick was kneeling ALONE last year. “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.” 

Yall’s black asses are going to let a biracial guy raised by white people stand up taller than you for the rights of black people?!

I’m not impressed by players who chose to show solidarity for the first time. The conversation has now become about the President’s name calling, superficial/symbolic patriotism and not about victims of police brutality. Choosing to kneel for the first time yesterday shows that players were more offended by being called SOBs than state sponsored violence against black people. Only when their egos were bruised did those BITCHES decide to take action. They were standing up for Colin and for themselves. They were standing up against 45. Meanwhile, the 200+ black people that the police have killed since Kap first protested have been forgotten.

Check out the data on police shootings compiled by the Washington Post and The Guardian.

Bitch Honorable Mention: Niggas who won’t protest the NFL.

Dr. Boyce Watkins

I’m a fan of Doc. That doesn’t mean I always agree with him. On Saturday on Facebook he said “Toxic Feminism has done nearly as much harm to the black family as the KKK its self” NIGGA WHAT? That statement was like Hotep level 10. Don’t take a worthy conversation (Toxic Masculinity) and make it fit your agenda. Ole “I know you are but what am I” head ass. Feminism is the advocacy of women’s rights based on the equality of the sexes. We have a bad habit of blaming the woman always. Women do some crazy shit. I know. I am one. I’m nuts. But Dad/Husband/Baby Daddy left the family and Mom/Wife/Baby Momma stayed and raised all the kids and feminism destroyed the family? Not the bitch who made a family and then left.

Not to mention many black women don’t identify as feminists because feminism is VERY white.

I’d love to have a conversation with Doc about this. Maybe I shouldn’t have called him a bitch first. Ah well.

Bitch Honorable Mention: The Hoteps and PickMe Penelopes cosigning Doc in the comments.

—–

Thus is my argument of the bitch-ness of men. Don’t come in my inbox telling me why you aren’t a bitch (yes you are) or that not all men are bitches. If you want to have a meaningful conversation, I’m all for it. Also. if you’re chunky with a beard, a nose ring, love the Lord and want a nice wife to ruin your credit and tell you that you’re trash feel free to inbox as well.

Future Blogs
Wednesday: Millenials and The Church Part 2.
In the near future: Church Songs that are a Lie.

Thank you.

-CGW

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Lent 3: Just Give Him a Pepsi

I know this is late and everything but I honestly haven’t had anything to say regarding my Lenten experience. Here’s why. I’m supposed to be listening.

Matthew 6:33 says But ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added into you.

CAGW translation, Look for Jesus.

I am just pretty unsure about life now and my prayer is that Jesus reveals His desires and will for me.

Giving up Facebook has surely cleared my head and I don’t think I’m going to go back even after Lent is over.. not the way I was using anyway. I connect with people on Facebook simply because I know them and that ain’t enough. Being connected to errrbody is toxic. FB used to be fun. Seems more like a chore now. idk, I’m still chewing on it. So, all of my thoughts have gone into my personal notebook lately. I ain’t sharing everything with you niggas. Most of yall ain’t praying no how.

Since I’m not on FB my commentary has to go somewhere doesnt it?

This week in whiteness, we’re solving racism with dolls, fake essays and Pepsi. White people’s answers for racism never involve them DOING anything or changing their minds or hearts. Atoning for America’s original sin is impossible, but moving in the right direction is HARD.

Ziad Ahmed got into Stanford and his essay was “#BlackLivesMatter” over 100 times. This is probably the least remarkable thing he’s done. The kid is impressive. Google him. That being said, I’m not impressed. Ahmed would have gotten into Stanford regardless, i’m not arguing that; what he did was creative, but not remarkable or revolutionary.

I want to go easy because he’s still a kid but life ain’t easy. If #BlackLivesMatter to you, Ziad you better have a 3.5 essay to back that thang up. You a Bangladeshi Muslim in America. These white people don’t care what you think for real. You have a unique opportunity as a brown Muslim with a platform. Use that thing. When you get an opportunity to voice your opinion, don’t be lazy, Ziad. You say #BlackLivesMatter but from that essay alone, I do not believe you. Black people are being killed for no reason, slaves to a prison industrial complex and struggle to get clean water to name a few issues. Do not take the movement so lightly.

We’ve got to stop elevating symbolic actions that don’t mean or change anything. Ziad is capable of a thought provoking essay about why he believes #BlackLivesMatter. That’s why I’m not letting him off the hook.

If a black child would have pulled that shit, it would go viral but because we’d be laughing at that nigga. As the profit Khaled said “Congratulations. You played yourself.”

Speaking of played… I’m about to come down Kylie Jenner’s street. Again, I want to be easy on her cause she’s a kid and her daddy is Caitlyn Jenner but… life is hard. Look at this ‘mmercial.

So nobody at Pepsi has any sense huh? I refuse to believe there was NOBODY at the table that said ‘yeeaaa.. better not do this..”

I just… let me collect myself.

Here’s a lesson in white privilege: you get to be this offensive and it’s iight.

Protesting and Marches are what’s hot right now. As someone who has been in the street and faced police, it is SO offensive that Pepsi used that aesthetic to sell pop!  I know you can do better Pepsi, yall had Tori Kelly sing two bars and I wanted to drink a liter of Pepsi and I don’t even drink soda.

My mom and I watched a clip of this commercial and said ‘so all we gotta do is hand the police a Pepsi? THANK YOU KYLIE!”

I don’t march to be cute. I don’t even like leaving the house, quiet as kept. I march for Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice and the Mike Browns of the world. The black boys killed for being black boys and their murderers seeing no justice. I march for Sandra Bland because her life sounded just like mine and I could end up dead in a jail cell. I march because I don’t want my momma to bury me or my brother and then hear ‘not guilty’ in a court room. I march because I’m so familiar with the #BlackWomanatWork experience and nobody is listening to me. Nobody. Is. Listening.

So to see the likes of Kylie Jenner marching anywhere and interacting with police is almost triggering. Kylie and her sisters love having sex with black men. But they and so many other ‘celebrities’ are silent when black men are victims of state sponsored violence. This shows me that you all see us. But you are not listening, don’t care or both.

The climax of the commercial, the cop opening up the can and taking a swig and everybody cheering had me yelling expletives at the TV. So… all these people are marching so a cop will drink a Pepsi (not healthcare, reproductive rights, economic justice, racial inequality)? That was obviously the goal of the commercial. This cop is going to kill somebody later (and get away with it) but thank God he drank a Pepsi first! The Pepsi had to have some Makers in it for them to be cheering so hard.

I’m constantly exhausted by whiteness. Mind your self-care, yall.

Thank you so much for your support. If there’s anything you want me to write about hit up HunnWilliamson@gmail.com

#BlackLivesMatter

 

-CGW

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Lent Commentary Week 1: Sitting like KellyAnne Conway

Peace, yall. Welcome new followers! Thank you for following! Follow me on twitter and snap at @andcarrieon7 and like my Facebook page CarrieAmanda.

During Lent I’ll post every Wednesday, lets get into it.

I won’t assume everybody knows what Lent is so here’s a brief description. Lent is the 40 days before Easter. It symbolizes Jesus’ 40 day withdrawal into the wilderness.

The purpose of lent for the Christian is self-denial in preparation of the celebration of Christ’s death, burial and resurrection which is Easter.

It’s not just a Catholic holiday as many believe. Many Christian denominations observe lent; Normally by giving up or fasting from something. Use your Googles for more info. This ain’t Wikipedia.

I haven’t observed lent in a few years. It always sneaks up on me and I’ve been too lazy to give up something. It takes effort.

I gave up Facebook, am doing the #BathroomBreakChallenge (word to my friend Imani at christiancontrolfreak.com) and a Lent Bible reading plan. It has already been very rewarding.

Hindsight is 2020 right? I’ve learned that I was relying too much on my job/money, my material possessions, social status/friends and not God. Idol gods aren’t just golden statues. God will take all that away to get your attention. I left my job (money and insurance), lost some people my damn car broke down, and I’m nuts.

God Got me leaning on the everlasting arms, honey. It may not feel like I have much but this Peace I have outweighs all of that.

Since I’m not on Facebook, i get most of my news a little later when I sit down and look so heres my commentary on notable news:

kellyanne, girlKellyAnne was sitting on that couch like a child with no home training. You know how a
little girl isnt used to wearing a dress and you have to tell her “put ya legs down baby”. I had the urge to tell KellyAnne that but she’s a whole entire adult. There ain’t but a FEW reasons to have your leg open this far and this was not one of those occasions.

Ben Carson is another whole entire adult that has life wrong. I am still waiting on Ashton Kutcher to come out on the country and tell us we’re punked. This nigga is a brain surgeon that said the ancestors were “immigrants” that came over on slave ships. If they were immigrants WHY WERE THEY CALLED SLAVE SHIPS. The leader of HUD, yall. Has he ever seen Roots?!? I didn’t know brain surgeons could be THIS stupid. Maybe he’s in the sunken place, him and Kanye. Can we go get them or..? The bar has been lowered tremendously for all things. Now is the time to pursue whatever you want. I’m trying out for the NFL.

Third and final commentary. Yall want Ciara to be miserable so bad. If Ciara had stayed ciarawith Future, was raising Baby Future by herself, getting cheated on, singing sad ass songs and miserable, nobody would have anything to say. She released this gorgeous maternity photo and black ashy twitter is up in arms. Yall mad at Ciara for having the nerve to move on and marry a man that loves her and her son instead of being mad at Future who is nowhere to be found. A miserable black woman is so normal to us, we’re offended when she is happy.

If you don’t want another man in your son’s life, BE THE MAN IN YOUR SONS LIFE, NIGGA. Keep on prospering Ciara. Keep right the hell on.

me daddy mommaI’m so passionate about Ciara because look at this photo to the left. That is baby Carrie. The man holding baby Carrie is not my biological father. But he is my daddy. He married my mom when I was that age and raised me as his own. My biological father still ain’t interested in being a parent. It’s too late anyhow. So F you and your couch if you’re mad at Ciara. She isn’t the one in the wrong.

Note: I know it looks like that’s my brother holding me. LOL The resemblance is uncanny. He wasn’t even born yet. Ah the days of being an only child.

Ok, I think that’s all I got to say. I never know how to end these things.

Till next Wednesday. Bless your heart and all your parts.

– CAGW

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Don’t wait your turn!

We’ve already established that my Facebook (henceforth FB) News feed gives me the MOST. Part of my self care is ‘unplugging’ especially from FB.

I have a homegirl who checks in on me ever so often. I told her this morning I was super anxious. She said “maybe unplug from FB for today”. That’s EXACTLY what I needed to do.

The FB commentary issues that have got under my eyelashes lately are Karrueche and Chris Brown, the bathroom bill (and many other bills Jesus), immigration and how I’m not ‘woke’ cause I’m Christian.

I have learned valuable lessons in FB debates. It’s usually best to keep right on scrolling. Thoughtful conversation usually happens sans audience and one or one. Anytime we broadcast something, it’s to get a reaction and to show off for our friends. Which is in why my view FB debates go south FAST. I usually want to be real petty by the 3rd exchange and I’m trying to do better so I usually just skip them all together. auntie-max

The second lesson is that a good number of people are not smart or open minded enough to debate with. For example, in order to talk about rights for LGBTQ people, you must understand, sexual preference, gender as a social construct and biology. Lots of people don’t.

For us cisgender folk, being transgender may be a hard concept to grasp (use your Googles) but it shouldn’t be hard to grasp that they are people just like us. I’m more disgusted than surprised that we are having a conversation about public restrooms.

Its hilarious to me that niggas black people scoff at any legislation regarding public accommodations. Ask your granny if she could just go to any bathroom.

AND AND AND Transphobia behind ‘protecting our women’ is disingenuous. The POTUS bragged about grabbing women buy the pussy… The President. Of the United States. Some of our legislatures are trying to defund Planned Parenthood and PP isn’t even funded federally. The government could do a much better job of protecting women. The bathroom bill AIN’T one of ’em.

Lets talk about Chris Brown ole creepy ass for a minute. It doesn’t take much to surprise me but I AM surprised that yall need receipts on Chris’ crazy when we already have them.

I posted the story and people’s comments:

“I need to see pictures.”

“Why is she just now saying something?”

“She’s just doing it for attention.”

AND MOSTLY from WOMEN!

rhianna-faceMeanwhile I’m serving Maxine Waters face. This the same guy that had Rhianna’s face swollen and bloody. Why can’t we believe Karruche? Why are we defending someone we KNOW needs therapy? Cause we enjoy his music? You go on a date with Chris Brown, sis.

These issues don’t necessarily hit home for me. I’ve never been abused by a romantic partner nor have I ever thought about which bathroom to use for my safety. But they still get to me emotionally.

I’m so frustrated that its such a struggle for people to see other people as human that deserve the rights they enjoy. It scares me because I’m very other and I need someone in privilege to see me as human sometimes and I know they don’t have to.

American culture is very much to blame I think. We have plenty of laws on the books that remind the majority that minorities are people too. Also, i think we try to give ourselves moral permission to treat people bad when we “other” them.

Immigration is a good example. You can’t say you don’t want them here because they’re brown (that’s what it REALLY is). That’s too direct. You gotta straight up make shit up. They are terrorist or innately more criminal. So i don’t have to welcome them into the country, so I don’t have to treat them as people. So I CAN treat them badly. Example below:

I’ve been waiting to use this hilarious clip. They was pissed. LOL

But seriously I know what its like to be othered and it doesn’t feel good, it’s scary. That’s why I don’t want to do it to anyone else. I also believe we have a duty to stand up for people. Its way too late to wait your turn. Errrbody is in danger, girl. I have friends that are undocumented, transgender people in my family, I’m a black millennial. I just can’t afford to wait my turn. We gotta fight unjustice for ANYONE because we are ALL image bearers of God.

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me. – Martin Niemöller-CGW

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