10 Things That Tickle Me about the Black Church Experience

This article was inspired by Very Smart Brotha’s “10 Randomly Specific Things to Blackness that Always tickle the Hell out of me” shoutouts to Damon Young and all the brothas at VSB.

I’m told that I first went to church when I was 8 days old. I was born on a Saturday, Lisa (aka momma) rested the next day, but when Sunday came back around her super saved self was in church with a big ass newborn. I have always been chunky and I have always been in church. Since my granddaddy was the ‘passa’ I was probably in church more than the average church goer. The black church was all I knew until my white home girl from middle school had her confirmation and invited me down to the white Catholic Church. I was amazed and confused. (I need a white contributor to the blog, affirmative action)

I have “backslid” to one service per Sunday and since Empire comes on Wednesday, I usually miss bible study. I’m gon watch via streaming faith this afternoon though. Here are 10 things that tickle me about the black church experience.

 

The Ushers  

The ushers are the church’s bouncers and you want to be friends with them. For some reason, their right, (left?) hand is stuck to their back. If church is full when you show up, they will tell somebody to scoot down while looking over their glasses and show you your seat.

No, you can’t sit with your friends/family. You’ll sit where the hell she/he told you to. Sit on your coat/jacket or put it on the floor. You can’t save seats, and put the lap scarf on she/he gave you even if your dress is down to your ankles. Don’t argue.

Get a fan or envelope when they come down the aisle. Cause if they have to come back you will get a side eye.But they will take care of you, I was distraught at my grandaddy’s funeral and the usher wiped my eyes for me WHILE fanning me. They the real MVPs.

Believe it or not, I was an usher back in my day. I quickly realized that I was not humble enough to serve in this capacity and put my white gloves up. I haven’t picked ‘em up since… ain’t going to.

The Musicians 

My daddy and brother are musicians so I got to deal with musician foolery 7 days a week. They may have on a 3 piece suit. They may look like they are about to go hoop at the Y. They will not have the right colors on. They disappear like your baby’s daddy during the sermon (especially if your church has multiple services). They probably played down to the bar last night and will start a groove during offering and forget and slip some secular music in there.

The length of service 

My church at home has combined men/women’s day (see the next one) and we were in church until 2pm that service; in large part because somebody let my mom and her sister (aka my auntie) on program. Make sure you bring a bag of grippos and your soda/juice of choice to service (there’s a store walking distance of every black church in America). You’re in it for the long haul. 10 songs, 2 scriptures, memorials, offering, prayer, 10 more songs, shouting and THEN the sermon, altar call, remarks, and benediction. I usually get a headache mid sermon.

The “Days”   

Children’s Day, Youth Day, Young Adult Day, Men’s Day, Women’s Day, Senior Adults Day is what I grew up with. We called it “Loyalty Month” not sure why. Loyalty month is the only time we saw most of the participants. These hoes ain’t loyal.

Women’s day is coming up. The theme is “Get In Formation”. I’m probably gonna participate just out of curiosity of how we’re going to take Beyonce’s song and put Jesus on it.

The “Days” are a big production, complete with a theme, assessment ($$$) and what colors the ushers and choir are supposed to wear. There’s always one person that isn’t going to buy a new outfit and will either wear their black suit/white suit REGARDLESS of the colors (ask Lisa if she buying something. She ain’t)

The kids/teens 

Somebody’s baby is crying. EVERYBODY turns around to see who it is and why they ain’t took that baby to the nursery. As if there aren’t some grown folks that don’t want to throw a fit from sitting for 3 hours. Lots of churches have a separate service for children now. I’m pissed because I didn’t have a separate service to go to when I was a kid. I had to sit with my auntie (my mom was in the choir) and endure. Spoiled brats.

The teenagers do not want to be there and have no problem showing it.

The “muthas” 

I’m not sure the history of the mothers of the church. But a group of older women are the matriarchs of the congregation. They have their own row at my home church.

Give them the correct title, not “Sister soandso” or Mrs. “soandso” MUTHA soandso.

If your skirt is too short, a mutha will pull you to the side (maybe) and let you know. If you need a perm, a mutha will ask you when you’re getting one (even if you’ve had an afro for a year… happened to Lisa. I DARE you to ask her the story. She’ll go off) No matter how shady she is to you, you have to respond ‘yes ma’am’ and be respectful for no other reason than she’s 100 years old. I think it’s extra points in Heaven when you can stay respectful to Mutha Shadyboots. She always has her head covered in the sanctuary. Dressed impeccably, accept the shoes. She’s been on this world a few decades and is gonna put her sneakers to come to service.

The Deacon Board 

I suppose this makes the Deacons the fathers of the church. They have been serving communion/Lord’s supper since the Emancipation Proclamation but still manage to argue and look confused when 1^st Sunday comes around. The pastor/church’s body guards, a few of them are packing. They take the offering to God knows where and count it. Their wife is on the women’s usher board and also participates in serving the communion but knows what she’s doing.

The Kitchen Committee/Culinary Ministry   

On special occasions, such as a ‘day’ or anniversary the church has a meal after service. The church pays for the meat. The members got to bring the side dishes. Everybody takes a to-go plate. The senior citizens eat first.

This is the best seasoned food you’ll ever taste. Ever. There are a dozen cakes/pies to choose from and the tea will put you in a diabetic coma. It’s made with the Holy Ghost and crack cocaine. Give yourself time to nap before evening service.

I think being mean is a requirement to work in the kitchen at church. I also had a short-lived stint in the kitchen. When I was a teenager, they had the youth help in the kitchen/dining room for some event and the saints were so IGNANT the youth refused to ever work in the kitchen again. I think that was the first boycott/protest I organized. They had 16-year-old Carrie ALL THE WAY FCKED UP. I hadn’t been saved that long.

Funerals 

No matter how much of an asshole you were, if you went to a black church, we’ll MAKE UP some fond memories of you to reflect on at the funeral. These services can also be very long (bring a snack). The ushers have backup in the funeral home staff. They have extra supplies (fans, peppermint, bottled water) and you AIN’T getting a program before the family comes in. If the family is large and takes up all the programs, you’re not getting a program. If the family is large and needs more seats, you may have to stand. Do what the usher says. Please. You can find one after service. Somebody left one in the pew.

White Jesus

You may go into a church with black people and a black pastor. There may be a picture/painting of white Jesus somewhere. There isn’t in either of the churches I go to. I’d have them take it down. White supremacy runs deep. If I talk about it any further I’ll start cussing.

 

 

Thus is my list of of 10 things that tickle me about the black church. Honorable Mention entries that I didn’t have energy to cover: The First Lady, The Church Secretary, Offering, Pastors/Church Anniversary, The politicians we see once every few years and Testimony Service.

-CGW

The Holy Ghost doesn’t make you dance

Because of the time this blog took, we’ll pick up my music critique next Monday. I wish I had time to do both. Work takes up too much time for important stuff like blogging. SMH.

I saw this video this morning. I chuckled. I reposted the original link and said ‘they are imitating some adult. What are they shouting about? Spongebob?” It sparked an interesting discussion on my post and the original post had thousands of comments. So, you know me… I had to blog about it.

[[For my white friends who have never been to a black church. We do some crazy stuff and you are welcome to message me with any questions and/or come to my church Sunday for 10am service. Don’t be alarmed if somebody runs by you or starts screaming out of NOWHERE. It’s hard to be black, we let it all of our black frustrations out in church ]]

What those 4 little beautiful black boys were doing was cute and it made me laugh. But it was NOT the Holy Ghost. I’m happy somebody took them to church and I’m happy they can have fun in church. I’d rather them imitate somebody shouting than Chief Keef, yes. But I don’t want them to imitate anybody. I want them to gain the knowledge/belief of God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit and live a life accordingly. If being in church was enough, a few more of us may be saved. Amen lights.

Do I shout in church? Rarely chile. I don’t do public displays of emotion well. I don’t do private emotion well. LOL. But I actively participate in service. I’ve been in church since I was 8 days old. I know how to do church. I know when and what to do. I know what to say when and where. Doing church has nothing to do with Jesus. I’ve been in plenty of services and not encountered God for myself. A lot of it has been just going through the motions, doing what I’m supposed to do on Sunday. That’s why I stopped going a lot in college. Another blog for another day…

On this video I kept seeing people talk about the ‘Holy Ghost’ and I’m thinking ‘what does the holy ghost have to do with any of this?’ Yall really think the Holy Ghost is responsible for this clowning? Chiiiiiile.

I would argue that the black church is confused about the Holy Spirit/Ghost and what its role is in our lives and in the trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit/Ghost). Some denominations believe that “receiving the Holy Ghost” and salvation is two different things, I do not. Again, different blog for a different day. Paul is clear that ALL believers of Christ get the Holy Ghost. God in three persons works in three persons. Not separately.

(The white church could be confused to, but I’m not part of one and my experiences in the white church are limited. I don’t know WHAT the white Holy Ghost does. I got any white friends that will take me to church?)

Now that we have that established, let me tell you why what RayRay TayTay DayDay and LayLay were doing was NOT the Holy Ghost. In order to properly praise God, I believe you must have an understanding of sin and Calvary. I’m 26 and I don’t fully understand it so I know these little boys don’t. They would dance if Chuck E. Cheese or Santa Claus came in too.

The big misconception is that the Holy Spirit makes us dance, shout, foam at the mouth and other physical displays. That’s not the Holy Spirit. That’s our human emotions. We could be displaying human emotions because we are overwhelmed at the person and works of God, but we could also be displaying these emotions to impress people.

Nothing is wrong with emotional displays in church, but the Holy Spirit isn’t responsible for it. It is just much bigger and more complex than that. If I’m going to tell you what the Holy Spirit does NOT do. I’m going to tell you a couple of things that it DOES do.

Here are 3 things out of MANY that the Holy Spirit does in our lives.

The Holy Spirit gives us a God consciousness. (John 16: 7-11) It convicts us when we are doing something wrong. Outside of the Holy Spirit we would sin and not have a problem with it. Inside of the Holy Spirit, our sin grieves us and we are called to repent. The Holy Spirit puts God’s truth in our hearts and minds. Jesus left the Holy Spirit here with us as a ‘help mate’ to compensate for his absence. (John 14:16)

The Holy Spirit produces God’s fruit. (Galatians 5:16-24) The fruits of the spirit are Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. (Some of the fruits of the flesh are jealousy, anger, drunkenness, idolatry, sexual immortality). I am not naturally a patient person. The Holy Spirit pours patient seeds in my heart daily with these co-workers of mine, honey. What does the fruit of the spirit does he pour into you?

The Holy Spirit is a translator. (Romans 8:26-28) I was at waffle house the other day and these 2 ladies were eating. One of the ladies didn’t speak any English, so her friend had to tell the server what she wanted. The lady didn’t know the proper way to tell the server what she wanted, so her friend interceded for her. “She wants coffee and cream, water no ice. Her steak well done” (I’m about to shout)

Sometimes, I don’t even know what to ask for. But I can still cry out to God and the Holy Spirit will intercede for me. “Lord, send her some peace, some self-control. Let her learn how to shut her mouth.” (LOL)

The Holy Spirit is so much more than shouting in church. We receive the gift of the Holy Spirit when we establish a faith in Christ Jesus. Those sweet little boys are imitating their parents, aunties, older siblings or somebody and the Holy Ghost had absolutely nothing to do with it.

Thank you for your support, please continue to read and share with your friends 🙂

CGW

Starbucks RedCup-gate

REALLY?

I keep telling yall white people have lost their mind and yall don’t hear me. (Joking. I love white people.)

Saturday night, self proclaimed ‘social media personality’ Joshua Feuerstein posts on Facebook “Starbucks REMOVED CHRISTMAS from their cups because they hate Jesus”. It went viral, chile.

My friends got ta tagging me in posts about this fiasco because they love to upset me. It was a lovely Sunday afternoon and I was getting ready for the upcoming week. Meaning, I was laying in bed after church and waffle house watching family guy.

Feuerstein says that “political correctness” was the reason the cups were just plain red this season. Jeffrey Fields, Starbucks’ VP of Design and Content said ‘simplicity’ was the reason.

Starbucks released a statement that said they took “a cue from customers who have been doodling designs on cups for years… so this year’s design is… inviting customers to create their own stores with a red cup that mimics a blank canvas”

(Amazing marketing technique, Starbucks. Your coffee is mediocre and now I want to go buy some so I can draw on a cup. I ain’t though, I have my own redcups and I ain’t putting coffee in ‘em. Hehehe.)

Then TODAY, I see all these white people on the gram with red starbucks cups that say “Merry Christmas” on them. Yall went and bought up all their coffee and gave them free advertisement on the world wide web… Gee! Yall showed them!
The fact of the matter is, Starbucks has never had Jesus, the 3 wise men, Mary, Joseph or John the Baptist on their cups. When they started changing their cups for the season, Santa was the first person on the cup.

I’m a Christian so I feel the need to speak out because these articles say that Christians are upset and I’m not. As a young black Christian, I don’t give a solitary… hoot about Starbucks cups and I’m offended that a fool like Joshua Feuerstein is the face of American Christianity this week. In an attempt to redeem Christians I will offer my views.

1. Christmas wasn’t originally a Christian holiday. Jesus wasn’t born on December 25. (You think Shepherds was watching sheep in the field BY NIGHT in December? Chile… you a lie). So White American Christians don’t “own” Christmas because they didn’t start it. White people. America is not yours. Christmas is not yours. You stole it like you steal everything. Being mad about Starbucks red cups is kind of like stealing a country and being mad at immigrants.

2. Speaking of white people… Isn’t it interesting how they act when they feel like they may not fit in? White Jesus Christmas is no longer ‘mainstream’ (according to Starbucks anyway) and they are up in arms! As a black woman, I have no sympathy for a white dude upset because Starbucks cups don’t have any snowflakes on them this year. Walk a day in my shoes, Joshua. How am I supposed to feel about the white woman on the Starbucks cup all year ‘round? I have NEVER fit in. My culture, traditions, skin, hair, booty, music has always been considered ‘other’. It’s exhausting. But it isn’t the end of the world, dude.

3. Christmas isn’t really about Jesus in the first place. Christmas trees, spiked eggnog, Rudolph the red nose reindeer and giving each other presents in no way lifts up the name of Jesus or draws people to Christ. It’s a commercial holiday. Some of us just happen to go to church during it. My argument is that REAL Christians hold up the blood stained banner 24/7 and celebrate Jesus all year ‘round. He’s been too good for me to wait until December to celebrate his birth. Amen somebody.

4. Starbucks is not Starbucks Baptist Church. They make coffee. Josh acts like Starbucks told him they were going to put a picture of WhiteBabyJesus coming through Mary’s birth canal on the cup every year. It isn’t Starbucks job to spread the gospel. It’s YOUR job, Joshua. It’s our job, Christians.

5. This is ANOTHER excuse (like gay marriage and abortion) for lazy Christians to be in an uproar and not do anything. Why not buy a bunch of homeless people coffee and hot chocolate? Joshua went in Starbucks with his gun (because Starbucks hates the 2^nd amendment) and his Jesus T-shirt and bought himself coffee and pointed NOBODY to Jesus Christ. Joshua could have went in Starbucks, bought a couple of cups of coffee, gave one to some homeless people outside and prayed with them or pointed them to a homeless shelter or bought them some food. That’s ministry. Joshua isn’t making noise about Starbucks because of Jesus. Joshua is making noise because of Joshua.

 

There is no war on Christmas or Christianity in America. I went to church yesterday like I have every Sunday for the past 26 years. I sang and shouted about Jesus until my voice was hoarse and nobody killed me or even tried to. As a matter of fact, law enforcement was there to protect my right to do so. There IS a war on Christianity in the world but it’s not in America.

It’s not far-fetched for a Christian to have a problem with Starbucks though, they do profit off of prison labor. If you chose not to patronize Starbucks because they use prison labor (largely black men) to package their holiday coffee, I’d get that. There’s plenty of times in the bible where God proclaims His love for justice and urges us to pursue it as well. There is nothing just about a corporation profiting off very cheap labor provided by a privatized prison industrial complex.

As a Christian dare I say I am more troubled by black men working for pennies a day to package Starbucks coffee than I am by Starbucks using plain red cups this holiday season? because I am.

Ghandi said “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians; they are so unlike your Christ.”

I feel you Ghandi.

-CGW

Christianity and Halloween: An Analysis

Every year around this time I entertain the thought of being a Christian and celebrating Halloween. I’m not big on most holidays cause who needs an excuse to do hoodrat things with your friends and family? Not I. Anywho, this is just an analysis on whether or not I’m going to hell for dressing up this weekend. I did research. You’re welcome. (Feel free to fact check, chile.)

Growing up I heard a lot of church folk say that they don’t celebrate Halloween because it’s a ‘Pagan’ holiday. As a kid I always wondered who these Pagan people were and why they were so bad. Paganism is a term that European Christians used to describe other religions. It’s usually derogatory.

Biblically it refers to Ancient Romans and Greeks who were polytheistic they served multiple gods. I’d argue that Simon was pagan before he became Jesus’ homeboy. In Acts it says he practiced magic. Also, the 3 Hebrew boys refused to serve a pagan god, an idol if you will.

The history of Halloween like most holidays is very layered. Bear with me as I try to give it to you in a nutshell.

Sacred Origin

Halloween, like Christmas finds its origins in the church taking a secular holiday and making it sacred. Around the eighth century the Catholic Church decided to use November 1^st as All Saints Day. The local pagans were already turnt on that day so it kind of made sense. All Saints Day became a festival to honor any saint who didn’t already have their own day.  

The mass or church service that happened on All Saints Day was called Allhallowmas – A mass of all those who are hallowed… The night before became known as All Hallows Eve.

 

Secular Origin

The secular origin of Halloween is a Celtic holiday called Samhain and is the New Year. It marked the end of the Harvest Season and the beginning of winter. Also, ancestors are honored during Samhain. Your dead ancestor may come from the other side and communicate with you. This is probably the point where Christians were like ‘no, I’m good bruh’

As a kid my mom let my little brother and I dress up and go trick-or-treating. The church/pastor did preach against Halloween and we did have “Hallelujah night” where we could dress up as a non-scary/demonic character and get candy. We were supposed to do this instead of Halloween according to the church folk but we did both.

I don’t have any children. If God blesses me with some, I will let them dress up and go trick-or-treating. Likewise, we’ll participate in the church’s celebration if there is one. In my humble opinion I don’t think it’s fair to not let children do Halloween. You can’t expect a 6 year old to understand/accept not dressing up as their favorite character and going around the ‘hood to get candy especially when all their peers are.

Plus if my kids are as black as me (which is very likely), they’ll run the risk of being thrown across the room by a white punk ass police officer for no damn reason so I want them to be able to have fun and be children for as long as they can. They don’t get to be kids as long as their white counterparts do. The innocence of a black child is on a very short timer. So yes, my kids will dress up however they want and get all the candy.

I don’t think there is any harm in our current celebration of Halloween because it has evolved into something else. If we as Christians aren’t going to celebrate/observe Halloween because of its “pagan” orgins, we then cannot justify celebrating Christmas or Easter. All 3 of these holidays are the church’s adaptations to cultural/secular holidays. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking that cultural liberty.

Likewise if you chose not to celebrate/observe Halloween I believe it is your responsibility as a parent to explain to your children the reasons. I remember as a kid asking my friends who didn’t get to trick-or-treat why the hell not and they didn’t know.

I think that some insecure people use every single holiday to elevate themselves, honestly. For what other reason would you parade around talking about ‘WE don’t celebrate Halloween/Christmas/Easter’. Good for you. Your raggedy life plus not celebrating holidays will not get you an advanced ticket into heaven.

“… Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

For you, this may mean choosing not to celebrate Halloween and other holidays. That’s fine. But if you’re elevating YOURSELF in doing so, you’ve completely missed the point.

I plan on eating my weight in candy corn and Reece cups, dressing up as a nurse and going to my friend’s party. The church I attend in town is having ‘Super He Roes’ weekend where you dress up as your favorite super hero. I’m going as Super Woman. I chose to participate because whenever there is a ‘theme’ at church those in charge of ministry always incorporate it into something relevant. Yall KNOW I’m conservative when it comes to the church. My granddaddy will be turning over 7 times in his grave though.

Whatever you chose to do have a safe and blessed weekend. Thank you for supporting my blog, please continue to read/comment and share. You will be picking topics soon 🙂

 

Kim ain’t Shadrach, Meshach OR Abednego

Now, yall know my blog has a strict white woman policy and I had to skip Rachel Dolezal and Caitlyn Jenner but I’m going to have to talk about Kim Davis because among other reasons she’s from my state. Between Catfish, UK Fans and Kim – Kentucky looks BAD, chile. I offer my perspective on this situation to show that we ain’t ALL bad in Kentucky and the commonwealth isn’t completely Godforsaken.

Kim Davis is the elected clerk of Rowan County, Kentucky. Rowan County is northeastern Kentucky close to the Appalachian Mountains. The county’s seat is Morehead. Whenever I have visited, I’ve made sure my black ass was back in the city by sunset, feel me? It’s 96% white (literally ONE black family lives there) and one-fourth of the citizens live in poverty.

Following the historic Supreme Court decision in June, she has refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex (and later heterosexual) couples on the grounds of religion. The District Court and the Court of Appeals ruled that she must issue the licenses, and the Supreme Court declined to hear the matter ‘cause they already made the decision on the issue and they are all 100 so they probably can’t hear anyway.  So the judge put her in jail on contempt of court until she either does her damn jobissues marriage licenses, resigns or is impeached. Five of her six deputy clerks began issuing marriage licenses to everybody the next day. The sixth clerk is Kim’s son Nathan.

She was released because the Judge was ‘satisfied that the office is issuing marriage licenses’ and told Kim not to interfere.

At first I casually paid attention to the case. Here’s when I got mad… (Reason 1 of 3)

I read a tweet that suggested that Kim has been married 4 times. I said ‘now yall lying on Kim’.  So I researched and she has in fact been divorced 3 times.

She divorced husband #1 in 1994, had 2 kids out of wedlock, married Joe in 1996, divorced him in 2006, married #3 in 2007, divorced him the same year and then married Joe again in 2009. Meanwhile, we don’t know who fathered her children.

“It’s a Heaven or Hell” decision Davis said in a statement. If marriage had the power to put us in Heaven or Hell, Kim would surely be on her way to hades on a scholarship. No? My stance is if you’re going to boldly stand up against sin your personal life need not be raggedy.

Kim did not have all these standards for marriage until AFTER she was bussin it wide open for every man in Rowan County so what right does she have to deny a marriage license to 2 women or 2 men who are in a monogamous relationship? David Ermold and David Moore a couple that was denied a marriage license have been together for 17 years.  I think if you stay with somebody that long, you deserve some tax breaks, chile.

“Render unto Cesar the things  that are Ceasar’s and unto God the things that are God’s”

I’ve noticed Christian rhetoric is very centered on forgiveness and grace. Believe me I’m THANKFUL for God’s DAILY forgiveness but I do think that we use that as an excuse not to hold ourselves and each other to a standard in our conduct.

The same Holy Ghost that makes us run, shout, foam at the mouth, speak in tongues and interrupt service when I’m ready to go is the SAME Holy Ghost that daily calls us away from sin.

When I expressed this sentiment on Facebook the other day a friend commented “So you have to be perfect to stand up for Christ… oh ok… didn’t know that” and I hadn’t used the word perfect. I used the word raggedy. LOL.You don’t have to be perfect to stand up for Christ, in fact you have to boast in your imperfection.

In my opinion, Kim Davis denying marriage licenses is in no way pointing people to Christ or showing the love of Christ. All she had to do was resign. If your job interferes with your faith, you may have to step out on that faith, quit your job and trust God to provide for you. Andrew and Peter quit their jobs as fishermen to follow Jesus.

Quiet as kept, Kim ain’t giving up that $80,000 salary, honey. She don’t love Jesus that much.

Ok here’s the next reason I got mad. (Reason 2 of 3)

After Kim got thrown in the fiery furnace held in contempt of court and put in jail, all these people started screaming persecution and comparing her to biblical heroes like Daniel, Paul and “Rad, Shack and Benny” (word to veggie tales)

Mike Huckabee presidential candidate sensed his inevitable irrelevance found a way to make himself visible in the presidential race again. He visited Kim in the Lion’s Den her jail cell and planned to stage a “Liberty Rally” (whatever the HELL that is) out side of the Carter County detention center where she was in custody. Huckabee’s monkey ass appeared on Fox News and cried that this case is “further proof that Christianity has been criminalized in America”not only that…he penned an op-edfor Fox as well. 

“Kim’s stand for religious liberty is a pivotal moment in our nation’s history. Will we continue to pretend as though the Supreme Court is the ‘Supreme Branch’ with the authority and ability to make laws? It most certainly is not…It is no more the ‘Supreme Branch’ than it is the ‘Supreme Being’ with the authority to redefine the laws of nature or of nature’s God.”

 

Mike… Sis…

 

Davis’ attorney said “Today, for the first time in history an American citizen has been incarcerated for having the belief..blahblahblah.. and she’s been ordered to stay there until she’s willing to change her conscience about what her belief is”

Roger..sis…

Kim was not arrested because she’s a Christian. She was held in contempt of court for violating a court order. You are put in jail for your crime, not your motive. There’s nothing pivotal about it. Charles Manson killed people because he thought he was Jesus (or something). He was not put in jail about his beliefs. He was put in jail because he killed people.

Kim is an elected official in a public office. She refused to carry out the duties that the office requires and suffered the consequences. Five days in jail for breaking the law is not religious persecution. Kim Davis can still worship at her church, and minister to the ladies in the Rowan County jail. She can still wear the clothes that line up with her religious beliefs. As Christians in America we may FEEL persecuted because of the crazy secular world but I promise we are not actually persecuted.

Go to Iraq and Syria and try to be a Christian.. THOSE are the Christians being executed and we as Christians that aren’t should probably turn our attention to how to help these brothers and sisters rather than Kim Davis.

THOSE Christians are more comparable to the biblical heroes. But  Bible Study is on Wednesdays. You can read Daniel 3 to learn about Rack, Shack and Benny and Daniel 6 to read about Daniel chillin’ with the lions in the den.

Ok. Short bible study. God didn’t rescue Daniel FROM the lions den or the Hebrew boys from the Furnace, he protected them THROUGH danger. Had the people not seen Daniel come thru the Den safely or the Hebrew Boys come out of the furnace, some people may not have come to a belief in God, He may be using you to draw others to Christ. Doors of the church are open.

Reason Number 3

Coming soon..

Thanks for reading, yall!

 

Reflections on #Carries25 [25 things i’ve learned in 25 years]

I turned 25 this week. God is good. Here’s 25 gems from the bosom of Carrie. Enjoy.

1. Jesus is LORD! He was wounded for my transgressions, bruised for my inequities… the chastisement.. *RUNS*

 

2. Christianity is wayyyy more than going to church every Sunday. Prayer and studying the scripture DAILY is important for anybody that calls them self a follower of Christ.

 

3. There’s an African Proverb that says “Don’t pray without moving your feet”. You praying for a job but haven’t filled out any applications? Faith without works is dead.

 

4. I’m not going to hell if I don’t go to church or can’t afford to pay my tithe. Jesus died and there’s no curse. I’m happy to go to church and pay my tithe because he died. I don’t do these things to get to Heaven. Thanks Pastor Vic.

 

5. MOST relationships have expiration dates. Not everybody is supposed to be around forever. It doesn’t even have to end in beef. People grow and people change. Embrace it!

 

6. My mom said “You’ve got to work to work”  You may have to get you a 9-5 while chasing your dream. I was chasing my dream with no 9-5 and I was broke. I got a 9-5. I’m still chasing my dream. My bills is paid #doe.

 

7. Friendship and Business are two things best left separate. I messed up a lot of money this year trying to keep friendships intact.
8. There are 2 kinds of people. Talkers and Doers. Talkers don’t do enough and Doers don’t talk enough. I’d rather have a Doer on my team 7 days out of the week though.

 

10. You must stand up for what you believe in. People will appreciate it. Others will be threatened.

 

 

11. Don’t internalize things people say about you. The past month I’ve been called ‘disrespectful’ and ‘venomous’ about a couple of disagreements (Bill Cosby & Mike Brown). I ALMOST internalized it until I realized who was talking to me. I think this is about what the ‘turn the other cheek’ scripture is about. Some people have to tear you down to build themselves up. Don’t let that get you down. They’ll still be miserable at the end of the day.

 

12. I don’t have to show up everywhere I’m invited. I be tired.

 

13. Change is rarely peaceful.

 

14. Barack Obama has had a rather successful Presidency considering… He’s still black though so that’s why the GOP being monkey. Pray for our President and his family, ‘cause I feel like Mother Robinson will go off.

 

15. We’re lenient with people who entertain us. Knocked your wife out and drug her out of an elevator? Raped dozens of women? It’s cool as long as you’re an athlete, actor or musician. It’s rather disgusting.

 

16. In matters of race and sex. Our tendency is to blame the person of color and the woman. As a black woman, the shit’s rather exhausting. I feel like Will Smith in iRobot sometimes, like I see something everybody else doesn’t see.

 

17. It’s usually HOW you say it moreso than what you say. Something my mother has been trying to tell me since I was 8 years old. It only took 15 years for me to get it J

 

18. It is important to have guilty pleasures. RHOA, POLA and Ying Yang Twins are among mine.

 

19. Proper sleep requires that your mind winds down. I usually play Sims to wind my mind down. You won’t sleep well if your mind is still going a mile a minute.

 

20. It is important to proactively educate yourself. ESPECIALLY if you’re going to have an opinion.

 

21. Cluttered space. Cluttered mind. Clean your car and room, Carrie.

 

22. You must support as much as you ask for support. I live in a city with a great music scene. I’m a part of a wonderful company that manages artists and puts on events. Local artists that have never had a conversation with me or came to my event have sent me their music to listen to or tagged me in a facebook post. That’s selfish. I understand it’s hard to get to every single event that everybody’s having. But if you want support, you have to build relationships. I’m not going to listen to your music when all your energy is spent benefiting you.

 

23. Racism is alive and well in America and our global society. Slavery 300 years 150 years ago is not long ago in the grand scheme of time and how it effects generations. We can’t have an honest conversation about racism because we are too busy trying to deny it exists.

 

24. However flawed, our democratic process can work for us if we participate. Go vote. Who is your senator on a national and state level? Who is your councilperson? Your mayor, your governor? What judge are you going to see if you get a speeding ticket? YOU have a say in who gets these jobs. Ancestors of ours have got a bullet to the head for trying to vote. It’s an insult that the polls aren’t crowded from open to close on Election Day.

 

25. Ain’t nothing wrong with having a cocktail or a blunt at the end of a hard day.

 Thus is my 25 from year 25. Be blessed.

 

My response to “Homosexual Delivered at COGIC 105th Convocation Video: “Delivert!!”

On Monday, a video entilted “Homosexual Delivered at COGIC 107th Holy Convocation” surfaced. I reposted the video without even watching it because the title was enough for me to look over my glasses. I didn’t have to push play to see that the young man was still gay when he left the Convocation.

I wasn’t going to dedicate a blog to this but I have too many thoughts and have had too many conversations not to. Plus, the Lord blessed me with a gigantic intellect and wonderful insight and frankly, the world benefits from my opinion 🙂

The delivered homosexual in question is 21 year old Andrew Caldwell (not to be confused with the songwriter). He says he has published 14 books and is going to school to become a doctor. He’s lying. I’d tell you why I know he’s lying but that’s not why I’m here.

Lets get some things clear first because some of the lingo may be unfamiliar. COGIC stands for Church of God in Christ. It is a Pentecostal Christian Denomination that’s predominantly African American founded in the 1890’s (cause they kicked them outta the Baptist church when they suggested being baptized in the Holy Spirit was necessary for salvation). It’s the largest Pentecostal denomination and can be found in over 60 countries.  Charles E. Blake is the current presiding Bishop.

The COGIC holds an annual Convocation that is a meeting of all the COGIC memebers of churches world wide. The 105th one was this past week where a young man was ‘delivered’ from homosexuality. A video scurried across my facebook timeline Monday morning and my chest immediately got tight. Monday morning is trouble enough, between Myles Munroe and Andrew, I wasn’t prepared.

 

Here’s the video. Fast forward to around 2 minutes in. This isn’t the original version. It was taken down.

My initial thoughts

This is why church nxggas can’t have nice things! 

I don’t know why yall keep passing everybody the mic. 

The nxgga was gay when he put that paisley blazer and yellow bowtie on! 

How he gonna celebrate deliverance from homosexuality by dancing with 20 other men?! That’s counterproductive. He’s freshly heterosexual. Preacherman should’ve called some nice looking women down to dance with him. I bet he would’ve passed out. 

I wonder if I go tell the Pastor I’m not gay no more will he give me a hundred dollars?

Initially, I found this video HILARIOUS.

But then I got to thinking and I realized that what was happening was a tragedy.

The first tragedy is that this video suggests that you can be ‘delivered’ by running to an altar and dancing for 20 minutes. It reduces a relationship with God to an emotional experience in Eflat. Kinda like having a one night stand verses a marriage. It also brings the definition of ‘delivered’ into question. Does this young man genuinely not have an attraction to men anymore? Is he now sexually aroused by women? Or is he just choosing not to sleep with men anymore?

God is not the author of confusion. (1Corinthians 14:33) and there’s ALOT of confusion as a result of this video.

I’ve danced, waved my hands, shouted in church and God wasn’t involved. I was following a cultural tradition. I started to study, I sat under a few good bible teachers and learned that alot of what we do is emotionalism and not worship. Worship is a lifestyle. You can’t speak in tongues, not speak to your fellow Christian in the same breath and say you ‘caught the Holy Ghost’. I’m not saying every emotional person in church is full of it. But ALOT of yall (us) are. If you aren’t studying your Word daily and actively cultivating a relationship with God, what are you shouting about?

But grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18)

Andrew can scream into a microphone and dance all he wants to. The organist can play until his fingers turn red, the drum can beat the snare until it breaks, That doesn’t make him any less sexually attracted to men or attracted to women.

The second tragedy is that this showed how homophobic and confused about sex the (black) church is. Not only did he declare he won’t date men anymore. He also declared that he won’t wear makeup anymore or carry a purse. So not only is he going to date women, he’s also going to present himself in a more masculine way with his dress and mannerisms.  *rolls eyes*

We must understand that gender expression and sexuality aren’t the same thing. Some men are masculine, some men aren’t. Some women are feminine, some women aren’t and that’s ok. The idea that men have to be totally ‘butch’ and women have to be totally ‘femme’ is a social construct and frankly everybody doesn’t fit that mold. I know feminine men who are sexually attracted to women and I know butch women who are sexually attracted to men; most days I’m one of ’em. I remember feeling pressure to dress a certain way on Sunday morning and uncomfortable as a result because of the personal (unbiblical) preference of my pastor at the time.  Simplifying sexuality the way the church has for years alienates some wonderful people. It has alienated me. But I’m not afraid to tell church negros to go to hell.

Pause.

Negros with a 45 year old building fund shouldn’t alienate anybody. 

Play.

I see it alienating people like me and it’s a tragedy. I’m sure I can attribute some of my depression and anxiety disorder to the church. I’ve felt like I wasn’t good enough. I heard the scripture I’m fearfully and wonderfully made but in the same breath made to feel like an outsider if I didn’t want to put a skirt on. I know what that’s like. I’m afraid for young (and old) people like me. I don’t want people to leave the church. I want people to flock to the church. Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to me and I want to share that with everybody. I feel like i’m fulfilling my purpose when I’m inviting people to church, when I’m giving my testimony…

I’m a ‘whosoever believer.’ John 3:16. God CAN deliver you. God WILL deliver you. He loved you enough to send His only son to die for you. The creator of the Universe wants a relationship with you. The church is His bride and He’s coming back for it. Please don’t judge Christ by Christians. We’re a poor representation of Him. We film things  in poor taste and put them on YouTube. We argue on Facebook about our man made denominations. We are not always Christlike.

Whew, I’m glad I got that out.

As always, thanks for reading. Your comments are always welcome.

-CW

 

 

 

 

“What about your life says Christian?”

I do speak outs on campus. We go to classes and talk about our experiences as LGBT people. i did one this morning. Of course I discuss my experience as a Christian and growing up in church coupled with my Queerness. This young man seemed a bit dissatisfied that I called myself a Christian. He asked me “How would you define the word Christian?” I said “Someone who follows Christ, believes Jesus is the Messiah and the Son of God”. He seemed partly appeased with that question and I thought that was the end of it. Later on he said

“What about your life says Christian?”

He mentioned that I talked about going to the club and getting drunk.. which.. I didn’t.. I said that I partied alot in undergrad. I started to explain myself. I talked about how Jesus didn’t go to church that often, he hung out with societies ostracized people and he walked the walk and talked the talk. Then the facilitator asked him “What about asking her that question was respectful? We’re here to talk about identity.” Some of his classmates were vocal about how disrespectful they thought he was. I was a bit frazzled (I had been pulled over earlier that morning) but I kept a cool head and THAT was nobody but Jesus.

After class the facilitator apologized to me and I said “No need, I have to ask myself that question everyday.”

I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Couldn’t even lay down and take a nap… and yall know I love my naps LOL.

I try to speak to everyone I come in contact with. I ask questions. I educate. I’ll give the shirt off my back to anyone who needs it. I love children. I love my church. I love the fellowship of fellow Christians. One of the main reasons I try to make money is so I can give it away to people around me. I listen to people’s problems. I try to constantly be in dialogue and reflection with God. That is what about me says Christian.

I don’t believe a consensual romantic/sexual relationship with someone of the same sex is a sin. Nor do I believe the bible says it is. I respect anyone who disagrees. Christians very close to me disagree. But they are still my siblings. We can still love. We can still coexist. We can still do work collectively to advance the kingdom.

There are plenty of things about my life that aren’t Christian. I worry about money. I have an attitude. A bad temper, a slick mouth. I’m guilty of gluttony. I cuss. I can be a flake. Lazy. Whew, this could go on all day.

Not all Christians look the same. God didn’t make us all the same. Jesus had JUST 12 VERY different disciples. Imagine how different everyone in the kingdom needs to be. I’m queer. I’m black. I’m Christian. I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and I die to sin daily. I want people to know that Christian doesn’t mean you can’t have fun, that your life has to be boring or you have to dress like a missionary or live like you’re Amish. God will call you right where and HOW you are.

So let me throw the question back. What about YOUR life says Christian?

-C

Thankful

It’s that time of year again, I plan on being in a food coma on Thanksgiving Day so I wanted to get my gratitude out.

I have so much to be thankful for. I have shelter, clothes, food, access to clean water; so many things that people that are way happier than me don’t have. I’ve been doing this #30DaysofThanks on facebook and I’m ashamed to say I’m starting to struggle with what to say. Not because I’m not thankful or full of gratitude, I guess I’m worried about people’s perception. Like today, I wanted to say I was thankful for not having any kids, but I didn’t wanna shade the parents, and you know there are people out there that just love to be offended. But, I AM thankful for not having any kids because it’s only by the grace of God that I don’t, I haven’t always been responsible. There’s a couple of times I very well could have been a mother but it wasn’t in the cards for me. I see so many of my peers settling, doing things so out of order and its kinda heart breaking. I like to see people get married, be in love, have careers nshit before they become parents and its rare.

I’m also thankful for mercy every time I get behind the wheel. I’ve been commuting to campus this semester and I’ve never got a ticket or been in a wreck and not because I drove the speed limit or didn’t have road rage…  I haven’t been sober every time I’ve gotten behind the wheel, if I’m completely honest. I always drive myself whenever I go out and that has NEVER made me stay sober. That ain’t iight. I’m thankful for mercy and grace in spite of my irresponsibility.

I’m about to graduate, not because I had the money for college or because I studied as hard as I should have, but because it’s in God’s will for me to have this degree. I’ve been in a state of perpetual brokeness as a college student and when I got money, I didn’t always pay my tithe or use it responsibly… but I never ever went hungry. I worried about money even though I knew God would provide for me. I didn’t have enough faith, I still don’t. I’m worried about living on my own again in 2013, even though I know God’s got me.

I have great friends and family. I don’t always email, text, or call them back but they still love me in spite of my flakeyness. I’m often worried about attention from the wrong people, from people that aren’t supposed to be in my life anyway. But there are a few people I can call any time of day and they’ll be there for me. They have their own problems, but always have time for a nigga. I’m thankful. They love me for no reason, will do absolutely nothing with me and be satisfied, will share anything  they have. I have people in my life that are like-minded; that will have an intellectual conversation with me and then dance with me to Travis Porter in the next breath. We speak of being in love in a strictly romantic vein, but I’m in love with a few of my friends simply because of the friendship.

I’m thankful you read my blog, I’m thankful people listen to what I have to say.. and regardless of what anyone says. I know its not because I’m eloquent, intellectual, politically correct or polite. I appreciate your presence tho. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll do better in 2013.

I guess what I’m getting at is I’m thankful for my blessings in spite of me. If I was in charge of my life, I’d have none, I’m sure. I’m on my way to mid-twenties and I there was a time I didn’t think I’d make it past 17. I feel like I can’t fully express my thanks to God because I know there’s absolutely nothing I can do to pay him back, but he doesn’t even expect that. Appreciate what you have..

I’m still here. I’m thankful.

-CW