Category Archives: College

I’m Not Getting a Job.

I’m not getting a job so stop asking.

Ever since my mental health situation that caused me to leave my job (see #CarriesLifeMatters if you’re new), a relative keeps asking me (and my mother) if I’ve found a job yet… not about my mental health.. but if I’ve found a job. They are my elder so I cannot say “No nigga and I’m not looking for one.”

I did the right thing. I went to college and got a good job. It did not work. Sitting in a cubicle for 3 years was soul snatching. I’m not made to be an employee. I am a boss.

Corporate America meant constantly shrinking. Do you know how hard it is for a young black kid with locs to have to figure out how not to seem scary to white women from Kentucky? The shit’s impossible.

I had 2 corporate America jobs.

At the first job my boss (a black woman) called me into her cubicle and said, “I need you to not be the angry black woman.”

See, I had suggested to the group of white women that perhaps they’d get more work done if they’d quit watching and snitching on my team.

“What you said offended soandso…”

“I don’t care if they were offended.” I replied

“You’re intimidating.”

“I don’t care. My paycheck comes just the same.”

What is so funny is that I was a temp employee making BARELY minimum wage and they were salaried state employees and (at least) twice my age. Why you intimidated by me?!

At the next job, my boss (also a nigga black woman) told me that the way I sat in meetings was intimidating. I’m sitting, staring at a screen and taking notes. Intimidating. HOW SWAY?

I told her that if she was intimidated that perhaps it was her problem and not mine. NOT TO MENTION. She was a preacher that dressed like a sanctified street-walker. A size 24 not twenty four. TWENTY FO in a skin tight, thigh length red dress and 6 inch heels. Btch, I’m intimidated, hell.

She was so intimidated, she fired me and I pushed back and she had to hire me back because HR couldn’t even justify the reason. I shouldn’t have gone back but my petty ass wanted to walk back in there after that intimidated ho tried it.

I digress.

So No. I’m not looking for a job nor do I plan to.

Those 3 or 4 years in corporate America were damaging. Being nuts genetically on top of being told you’re making people feel uncomfortable for simply existing while you just trying to make some weed money nearly killed me.

Getting too sick to work was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Furthermore, my friends and peers have started to leave their jobs as well. It feels like a community of awakening. I have friends that are full time poets. My classmate from undergrad just opened up her own salon, another homegirl is currently on tour singing with Ledisi, my friends are boutique owners, musicians, graphic designers, promoters, fashion designers, make-up artists, massage therapists, personal trainers, dancers and doing it on their own terms.

People always ask me “so.. what do you do?”

My mother and I are starting our T-Shirt company and YouTube Channel.

I’m about to record my spoken word albums.

I’m a part of an up and coming record label. I’m developing rappers that are actually talking about something. We’re going on tour. We also sponsor a night of Non-Violence in our very violent city.

I work with my city’s chapter of #BlackLivesMatter

I’m teaching vocal instruction at a Girls Music Camp.

I’m raising money for a non-profit that has a vocational-entreprenuer school. (We don’t teach people how to work. We teach them to have careers.)

What do I do? My days off are Monday and Tuesday. I do yoga. I party on Wednesday night with my ratchet friends like its our birthday (they got $2 wells yall). I stay up until 2am writing music/poetry. I do whatever the hell I want to do. I’m broke nigga! and I moved back in with my mom but I’m happier than I was with a $34,000/year job. AND I will be back out of my momma house in my own bachelorette pad by the end of the year. Mark my words. You’ve got to speak those things… *BAPTIST FIT*

If you are not made to go to college or work in an office then don’t. If you ARE made to go to college and work in an office, then DO! I wasted time doing what I thought I was supposed to do. The women that influence me the most, my mom, my aunts a couple of my cousins ARE made to work in an office and/or be in academia. My aunt went to college and didn’t leave LOL. She got her phD and became a professor it was what she was made to do. I am not them. I never have to see another office or classroom.

I wasn’t doing what I was made to do. As a result I used food, alcohol and weed as crutches when I needed mental healthcare and am paying for it. I went to the doctor today. My blood pressure was 124/180 and my pulse was 124. They did an EKG on me. The doctors and nurses took my BP and pulse multiple times because of how high it was. I had to get blood work done. (If you know me, you know how I feel about getting blood drawn). Mentally/Emotionally I am better. Physically I have a long way to go. I’m not going to quit smoking weed doe. Idc. Idc. Idc. 

Do what you want to do. Life is too short. Don’t be afraid to be broke for awhile to have unlimited streams of income in the future. You have to sacrifice. You have to miss events, I had to stop getting pedicures and my eyebrows done (and I’m vain). I had to miss reggae fest. I haven’t bought clothes or shoes this year. I moved back in with my saved ass momma. But I am happy!

What are you made to do?

What is your calling?

What is your gift?

Go do it.

-CGW

 

 

 

 

 

 

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“What about your life says Christian?”

I do speak outs on campus. We go to classes and talk about our experiences as LGBT people. i did one this morning. Of course I discuss my experience as a Christian and growing up in church coupled with my Queerness. This young man seemed a bit dissatisfied that I called myself a Christian. He asked me “How would you define the word Christian?” I said “Someone who follows Christ, believes Jesus is the Messiah and the Son of God”. He seemed partly appeased with that question and I thought that was the end of it. Later on he said

“What about your life says Christian?”

He mentioned that I talked about going to the club and getting drunk.. which.. I didn’t.. I said that I partied alot in undergrad. I started to explain myself. I talked about how Jesus didn’t go to church that often, he hung out with societies ostracized people and he walked the walk and talked the talk. Then the facilitator asked him “What about asking her that question was respectful? We’re here to talk about identity.” Some of his classmates were vocal about how disrespectful they thought he was. I was a bit frazzled (I had been pulled over earlier that morning) but I kept a cool head and THAT was nobody but Jesus.

After class the facilitator apologized to me and I said “No need, I have to ask myself that question everyday.”

I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Couldn’t even lay down and take a nap… and yall know I love my naps LOL.

I try to speak to everyone I come in contact with. I ask questions. I educate. I’ll give the shirt off my back to anyone who needs it. I love children. I love my church. I love the fellowship of fellow Christians. One of the main reasons I try to make money is so I can give it away to people around me. I listen to people’s problems. I try to constantly be in dialogue and reflection with God. That is what about me says Christian.

I don’t believe a consensual romantic/sexual relationship with someone of the same sex is a sin. Nor do I believe the bible says it is. I respect anyone who disagrees. Christians very close to me disagree. But they are still my siblings. We can still love. We can still coexist. We can still do work collectively to advance the kingdom.

There are plenty of things about my life that aren’t Christian. I worry about money. I have an attitude. A bad temper, a slick mouth. I’m guilty of gluttony. I cuss. I can be a flake. Lazy. Whew, this could go on all day.

Not all Christians look the same. God didn’t make us all the same. Jesus had JUST 12 VERY different disciples. Imagine how different everyone in the kingdom needs to be. I’m queer. I’m black. I’m Christian. I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and I die to sin daily. I want people to know that Christian doesn’t mean you can’t have fun, that your life has to be boring or you have to dress like a missionary or live like you’re Amish. God will call you right where and HOW you are.

So let me throw the question back. What about YOUR life says Christian?

-C

#WisdomWednesday Tips for new college students.

Hello babies. In honor of Welcome Wknd at my school and all ‘at I’m going to provide tips for college freshman. I went to college straight out of high school so this will be targeted at them, but I hope non-traditional students can find help from this list as well, cause there’s a good number at my school.

1. Go to class. I know you may be like “but Kidd, of course I’m a go to class, i’m a student.” No, you aren’t You’ll get in a class with 200 people that’s a dry ass 90 minute lecture and realize that the notes you need for the test are online. You won’t see the point of going. Go anyway. If you have a C at the end of the semester, the professor might bump it up to a B cause you showed up to their boring ass lectures.

When I was a freshman on campus, I had an 8am class on the other side of campus. It got to snowing, I got to partying, and half-assed went. It was a math class at that. I need that credit to graduate. I’m a senior with no math credit. You don’t want to end up like me!

2. Get in an organization. Get in 3 organizations. Are you an aspiring Journalist? Join NABJ, an engineer? NSBE… You get out of your college experience what you put in. If there isn’t an organization for your particular need, start one. Some friends and I started an organization for LGBT students of color. It’s been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

These are also great Networking opportunities. You link up with like-minded people in your field. It’s very important for your name to be out there in this economy. You will also most likely need an internship to graduate. I worked for a political firm ran by two friends of mine. I’m on a first name basis with the mayor, council members and judges.

3. Get your text books for cheap. Don’t bend over and let the campus bookstore rape you. The textbook industry is trying to take as much money from you as it can. Amazon.com, Half.com, Belltowerbooks.com are all great resources for text books for cheap. Rent the books you won’t need, buy the books for your major.

4. Make friends with an upper classmen. This will happen naturally in your organizations, for example. Don’t go up to an old looking nigga and be like ‘can I be yo friend?’ lmao. It’s important to have an upper class men on your team because they’ll tell you what professors to take or not take and where not to eat on campus..

5. Don’t go home every weekend. College is intimidating. You’ll want to go home every weekend if you are away from home, but don’t… because one, you won’t study at home and there’s no room for growth if you’re still in the same place with the same people. You have to learn to be independent. Don’t take ya laundry home to your momma every weekend.

6. Budget. If you’re a genius like me, you’ll have a couple scholarships, state and federal money. This will cover your tuition and maybe room and board if so, you could be left with a couple stacks or more. You’ll want to make it rain. Don’t go on a shopping spree like I did, buy your text books, give that 10% to Jesus and donate to Obama’s campaign. After that, chill so you won’t be struggling by December. Also, don’t get a credit card. That will fuck up your credit. Plenty of people will be sending you shiny credit cards and shit.  Banks target dumbass 19 year olds, then abuse you when you ain’t got the money to pay on that credit card. Just don’t do it.

7. Party! But not too much. This is the first time you’re away from home. You gonna wanna party, do it. BUT don’t party the night before a big test.There’s a party every wknd. I was in college when Obama won. We partied every day of the damn week when he got elected. There are plenty chances to party. You are in school to graduate, not party. Your degree is priority. If your ass needa be in a book instead of the club… Get in them pages.

8. Exercise. The freshman 15 is real. There’s so much free horrible food on campus, and you’re going to grab whatever is convenient when you are thrown into academia that demanding. I’ve probably gained more like 30 lbs since I’ve been in college. You probably have free access to your gym on campus since you’re a student. You pay for the service so use it. Take a book with you to the treadmill. I used to racquetball and practice with the girl’s bball team. I dunked on ’em too! (in my mind)

9. An Open mind. If you ain’t going to seminary some damn where, you’re going to be exposed to alot of different people, different races, religions. Gay people. Atheists. Muslims. Vegans. All ‘at. Every stereotype you have about a certain group of people, get that image out of your mind. Don’t write somebody off ’cause they are different. Intellectuals are smarter than prejudice.

10. Share your knowledge. Not everyone can get a college education. Share that knowledge, volunteer with middle school kids, join Big Bros Big Sisters, you’ll probably need Community Service hours for a scholarship you have. You are an asset to your community with that degree and you have a social responsibility. Remember where you came from. Go back and make the ‘hood better!

Alright, that concludes Kidd-o’s list for the freshmensss. Feel free to add your tips in the comment box. If you read this whole thing, share it with a friend. Thank you for reading. Tweetchaboy *Zay Zay voice* @collegekidd

I didn’t come up with this list on my own. I had plenty of friends contribute via Fbook and Twitter, Traci, Joy, Tunisha (now, stop reading and go write), Alex, Eric, Maryam… if I missed you, I’m sorry. I love yall ass tho.

Peace

-CK

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