If you’re pro-life, you’re full of… : A Rant on the Latest Abortion Legislation

I’m about to rant and there will be cuss words.

Last week, Alabama set us back a hundred years and (25 red necks republican men) passed the most restrictive abortion ban in the country. The WOMAN governor signed bill last week. Since we now have a very conservative leaning supreme court, state legislatures have made it clear that Roe v. Wade is under attack.

Under the bullshit bill, abortion would be a felony. Doctors who perform them would face up to 99 years in prison. There are NO exceptions for rape or incest.

Alabama is on a growing list of states with ‘6-week’ bills. Georgia, Ohio, Mississippi, Iowa, North Dakota and my old Kentucky home have all banned abortions post 6 weeks. Pro-bullshit groups call these “heartbeat” bills because they ban abortions once a heartbeat is detected which is usually in the embryonic stage at 6 weeks. This is severely restrictive because 6 weeks is only 2 weeks after a missed period and most people find out they’re pregnant around 8-12 weeks. These bans leave a very small window of time to one, find out you’re pregnant and 2, have the procedure done. Presently, abortions are legal up to around 24 weeks.

The goal of this legislation to establish a fetus as a person.

If a fetus is a person:

Does child support start at conception?

Does maternity leave start at conception.

Is an ultrasound child p-rnography?

Do pregnant people get to vote twice?
Is your birthday now when parents fu.. conceived you?

Fetuses are not people. They do not have legal rights. At 6 weeks, a fetus is literally a parasite. I have a garden. My seeds were not food when they were put in the ground a month and a half ago.

Moreover, these laws set a very dangerous precedent. In Ohio, there is a pregnant 11 year old rape victim who under the law would be required to carry her 26 year old rapist’s baby. Is anybody else’s mind blown but mine? The doctor who would perform the abortion would probably get more jail time than the 26 year old man who raped an 11 year old girl!

The pro-life vs. pro-choice debate has in my opinion always been a waste of time. At the end of the day, if a stranger I have no connection to decides to make a personal choice about their own body, how is my life affected?

Pro-Lifers are full of shit. Here’s why I think so. 

People enjoy being passionate and outraged about issues they don’t really have any control over so they won’t be in danger of actually doing anything. I have never met a pro-lifer who adopted or fostered children. Pro-lifers sit at the same table with those outraged about Colin Kaepernick kneeling because of ‘the troops’ but who keep voting for lawmakers who consistently vote against the best interest of veterans. Their outrage is very selective. When it comes to symbolism, like standing for the national anthem or sticking a ‘pro-life’ sticker on their Subaru they participate. But when it comes to substance, like holding politicians accountable and adopting/fostering those children they really want to be born, they are absent.

Likewise, Pro-Life is one of the tenants of what it means to be a political conservative. Republicans are passionate about the government not playing a large role in people’s lives while simultaneously inserting laws into women’s wombs. Offering legislation and ideals for my reproductive system is REAL involved, guys.  They also favor less government spending on social programs. So if you don’t get an abortion? Great. But when your child needs healthcare, food and education? LOL.

Second, Pro-Life is a largely Catholic ideal (Yes, I’m going there). How do you reconcile being ‘Pro-life’ but doing nothing when priests rape children for decades on an international scale? You’re so concerned about them being born but not so concerned about millions of them being raped for years? That does not add up.

Furthermore, the reality is, 100% of pregnancies are a result of men’s orgasms. So if we want children to be born into the best conditions possible, we need to address men’s bodies not women. Women can only make a baby every 9 months. Men can make a child every day. Why are their bodies not subject to legislation? As I’ve said before, Alyssa Milano is full of shit but I don’t think a sex strike is such a bad idea. Until women can decide what they want to do to their bodies, they should stay away from sperm. (I know y’all hoes ain’t gon do that though so here’s an article on other ways you can help women subject to extreme abortion bans.)

I have never been pregnant. So I’ve never had to grapple with the choice of carrying a child or not. But I deserve the choice and so do all women. The only people who should discuss a woman’s health care are that woman and her doctor. Period. It is a waste of time and energy for men who will never have to make such a decision to even have an opinion. There are PLENTY of issues legislatures need to address. Abortion had ALREADY been addressed almost 50 years ago.

Ultimately, no one can take away a woman’s choice. If a woman wants to get an abortion, she can get one. Women were getting abortions before Roe vs. Wade in 1973 and they will continue to do so after restrictive legislation in 2019. The problem is how dangerous the procedure will become once it is illegal. If the government can provide needle exchange programs to keep addicts safe, it should provide abortions for women to keep them safe. We can all agree you probably shouldn’t shoot heroin or opiates in your veins right? Does that mean we shouldn’t provide clean needles? Likewise the fact that some of us don’t believe in abortion should not mean that people who DO believe in it should not have access to it.

Lastly, (cause I know someone is going to ‘aint-you-a-Christian?’ me) as a believer, I do not see a biblical basis for being pro-life. My Bible says to ‘do justice, love mercy and to walk humbly’. (Micah 6:8) Taking away a woman’s choice is an injustice I will continue to speak out about even against my siblings in Christ. If an abortion is a sin, the same God who shows YOU mercy in spite of your sins, will show her mercy. Right? Christians must stop using the Bible as an excuse to mistreat, judge and put people in danger of not receiving the best healthcare possible. A woman or girl getting a dangerous back-alley abortion and dying from it will not make the Christian in me feel better.

If you don’t believe in abortion, don’t get one. 

Let me get my red robe and white bonnet ready…

Thank you so much for reading, supporting, kind words and sharing. Follow me on IG/Snap/Twitter at @CarrieKeepPushn. (I’m on a social media fast for the next week, but I’ll be back to shenanigans soon!)

– C

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#BibleStudyReflections: How Jesus Addressed Sexism, Racism & Sin at the Well

For this reflection, we find ourselves in the Gospel of John 4.

Jesus and the disciples were on their way back to Galilee from Judea. On the way, they stopped in a village in Samaria. While the disciples went to go get food, Jesus rested at Jacobs Well (mentioned in Genesis 33, not the one in Texas).  It was around noon and a Samaritan woman had come to draw water. Jesus asked her for a drink.

Pause.

Jesus was a (BROWN NOT WHITE) Jew and this woman was a Samaritan. Because of racism, Jews didn’t have anything to do with Samaritans. Also, men did not converse with women without the presence of their husband (I wish that’s how it was today. LOL).

This conversation was no accident. Racial and gender lines were broken by Jesus even initiating this conversation. A Jewish man talking to a Samaritan woman was NOT the social norm. There are social norms I tolerate, there are even social norms I appreciate. I’m so glad that Jesus knew when to break the rules.

The woman said so too, vs. 9 says “You are a Jew and I am a Samaritan woman. Why are you asking me for a drink?” 

Jesus replies in vs. 10 “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me and I would give you living water.”

At this point, the woman (whose name we never know) and Jesus are talking about two different types of water. The woman was focused on the law. Jesus was focused on grace. Still focused on H2O, the woman tells Jesus he doesn’t have a rope or a bucket. So where are you going to get this water?

I enjoy how bold this woman is. He’s a Jew, she’s a Samaritan. He’s a man, she’s a woman. But she is still taking time to boldly question him. Sometimes as Christians, we are hesitant to question God. This woman is a great example of how bold we can be in our questions to Jesus. I’m so glad that he can and will answer our questions!

Jesus breaks it down. verse 13: “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again. But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again…”

The woman asks for this water. She doesn’t want the water for spiritual reasons. She’s concerned about her physical thirst and her social status. She’s come to the well at noon. Nobody would come to the well at the hottest time of day, I imagine drawing water from a well is physically taxing. Since everybody came to the well at the same time. It was as social as it was practical. Why was this woman even at the well alone at noon?

To answer her question, Jesus tells her to ‘Go and get her husband.’
Me: “Now, Jesus. You know that woman ain’t got no husband.”

Jesus wasn’t being shady though. According to the law, men couldn’t converse with women in public without their husband. But also, He was (gently) addressing her sin. Jesus didn’t come up on the woman and say “YOU A HO!”. He approached the woman humbly. By asking her to draw water for him he made her useful. He made her seen. He asked her He started a conversation.

“I don’t have a husband.” (verse 16) the woman replied. Jesus says in verse 17, “You’re right, you don’t have a husband. For you have had five husbands and you aren’t married to the man you’re living with now.”

Me: Dag Jesus, you gon just call sis out like that?! I bet she was at the well cause she had slept with somebody’s man and the girls ain’t like her.

5 Husbands is a LOT. But when we look at the social context of the time, when a woman’s husband died, she became a beggar, a prostitute or somebody else’s wife. Since men dropped like flies due to war, famine and disease, sis just chose the best option. I’m so glad single is an option now. 

It was this moment that she realized she wasn’t just talking to a regular guy. She also got called out and changed the subject. LOL. vs. 19. You must be a prophet. 20 So tell me why is it that you Jews insist  Jerusalem is the only place of worship while we Samaritans claim it is here at Mt. Gerizim where our ancestors worshiped?

Jesus replies in verse 21-24. “… the time is coming when it will no longer matter whether you worship… on this mountain or in Jerusalem… salvation comes through the Jews. But the time is coming… when true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth”

If I was Jesus, I woulda been like “Girl, don’t try to change the subject!” But He answered and in His answer addressed racism and sin. Jews were the chosen people. The 12 Hebrew tribes were those saved from slavery in Egypt and recipients of the promised land. They also had very strict religious laws to follow to stay in good standing with God.

Jesus came to shake all that up. With his sacrifice, the veil in the temple was torn and now we ALL have access to God is thorough Jesus. Thank God, I don’t wanna slaughter no animals.

So how did Jesus address racism, sexism and most importantly sin? The Water.

He used the earthly relevance of the water to start a conversation across racial and gender lines, and show the woman that He had living water; that HE IS living water.

To evade Jesus even further, she says “I know the Messiah is coming… he will explain everything to us.” Jesus tells her, “I AM the Messiah!”

I think I would’ve been skeptical. The woman wasn’t though. She left her water, she didn’t grab no shoes or nothing and went back to her village telling everyone, “Come see a man who told me everything I ever did! Could he possibly be the Messiah?”

As a result of her testimony, many Samaritans in her city believed in Jesus. Somebody had to tell you about Jesus. Somebody’s salvation will come about from your testimony. So tell someone about your Jesus encounter. Also, I believe this story is a good argument for women preachers. But I’m not arguing with Baptist negros today.

Imagine going to run an errand and meeting Jesus. Where did you meet Jesus?

“There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. And now that you belong to Christ, you are the true children of Abraham. You are his heirs, and God’s promise to Abraham belongs to you.” Galatians 3:28-29

Until next time, 
– Carrie

#BibleStudyReflections 11: Take it Outta Me

I visited the Kingdom Center in Louisville, KY this past Sunday at the invite from my friend Jai. It was phenomenal. I’ll definitely be back. During the devotions/praise and worship, they sang “Have Your Way” by Jabari Johnson. It’s a beautiful song, go check it out.

The lyrics “If Its not pleasing to you, take it outta me.” will not and have not left me alone. During service, we had plenty of time to sing and meditate on that one line.

Can I be honest? There are some things in me that are not pleasing to God that ARE pleasing to ME. As I was singing that I felt God saying, “You sure? I’m going to take away some things you love.” My grandaddy/pastor Elder DJ Ward would ask us “Do you mean that?!” when we were singing certain songs. Sometimes, the response for me is “I’m not sure.”

During service it was mentioned that we are often ‘chasing an experience and not a relationship’. I had a great time in church Sunday singing that song. I had a horrible time dealing with the answer to the prayer on Monday.

One of the things being taken out of me is the urge to debate/argue with everything and everybody. It is mentally and emotionally taxing and usually doesn’t benefit anything or anybody. On Monday, I posted a status on my Facebook page saying that I was going to be intentional about avoiding arguing and conflict.

Then conflict showed up as if I had invited her.

It was conflict from something that happened a couple years ago (that didn’t involve me) from somebody I honestly barely know. I let two women (well, girls that are old enough to be women) take me to an angry/anxious place and ruin my day. I was in tears by the time my mom had gotten home. (She won’t go off on Facebook but she WILL come in my room and go off about people. LOL)

Today’s Bible Study took me to Psalm 51 by no accident. David wrote this Psalm after he slept with Bathsheba. (It’s a juicy story, go read) David recognized his the sin that he committed and the fact that he was a sinner.

“You’re not a sinner because you sin, you sin because you are a sinner.” – DJ Ward

Our natural, hereditary disposition is sin. Adam and Eve gave it to us. Sin isn’t something we do occasionally. Sin is who we are. So, it’s important for our constant prayer to be “If It’s not pleasing to you, take it outta me.”

And He’ll do it. 

Not only is the habit of debating/arguing everything and everybody leaving, but so is my love for it. I don’t want to argue. I don’t want to debate if it does not lead to understanding and progress. I ain’t spending any of that energy for free. It’s too expensive, and I’m not talking financially.

Psalm 51:16-17 (NLT)
You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.

My spirit is certainly broken. I’m comforted in the fact that God will not reject a broken heart. (I’m also grateful I don’t have to slaughter and burn a lamb. Yuck.)

Psalm 139: 23-24 (NLT)
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Until next time,

-Carrie

#ChurchHurt

[Disclaimer: I’m talking to and about Christians.]

Songs like “I’m Available to You” are cute and nice to sing… until God gives you an assignment you don’t want. I don’t want to write about church hurt. But here we are.

—

Last week frustrated with the actions of church folk (again), driving home I proclaim, “of all [redacted] places, I shouldn’t have to leave CHURCH feeling like this!”

There is no hurt like church hurt. The worst [emotionally. mentally. sexually] abuse I’ve been subject too has been at God’s house by God’s people. I know church hurt. So after  yall read this don’t come at me like “YoU dOnT kNoW wHaT iTs LiKe!!!” I do.

Can I keep it real?!

Some (not all, a portion, a few, a bit) of yall are full of shit.
Some of yall just don’t want to go to church. Its understandable. I don’t want to go often either. People don’t want to go to church because it is hard to be held accountable.

The pastor preaching about sin, its consequences and how God feels about it is not ‘church hurt’. It’s the truth. They may have mentioned your sin in their sermon. They don’t know your life unless you told ’em.

(This lady in church used to yell “You in my business!” during the sermon when she felt it. LOL)

For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. [Hebrews 4:12, NLT]

Every Sermon ain’t supposed to make you shout. Some are supposed to make you grieve. Some Sundays we should leave church saying ‘WOE IS ME!’ If your pastor has never stepped on your toes or preached ‘on your row’, get you a new one.

We want to come to church, sing “Today will be the best day of my life”, spin around 3 times for a breakthrough, sew a seed of $20 so we can become a millionaire and be told there’s a champion in us. We want to be lied to. It feels better.

Joel Osteen is lying. Calvary WAS the breakthrough, you may be broke forever and in this life there will be trouble. [John 16:33]

Can I keep it 100?!

I’m talking to and about people who have professed Christ as their Lord and Savior and have stopped going to church because they got hurt. You are capable of forgiving hurt. You’re even capable of tolerating it. People hurt you at the club, grocery store, your job, the gym and you haven’t stopped going. Your Baby’s momma or daddy hurts you often but you still climb in bed with them.

If you allow being hurt to keep you from church, you have made an idol out of the hurt. I wish it didn’t say it but right there in Hebrews it says don’t forsake the assembly. God inspired Moses to write that because He KNEW how church nig… I mean ‘the saints’ can be. They are insufferable. But so are you. You have hurt people. I saw some people who are straight up terrorists talking about church hurt. I’m not buying it.

I think (not sure) this conversation was sparked by LeAndria Johnson’s rant. I’m a big fan of LeAndria’s singing but she’s trippin. She’s mad at somebody who didn’t recognize her while she was sitting in a chair getting hair and make-up done. Now, the girls put on a LOT of hair and make-up so you may have just been unrecognizable. The ‘before’ and ‘after’ are day and night. Or.. they could’ve just not been paying attention. My grandaddy/pastor used to say ‘You’re just not that important.’

If somebody hurt you, before you go on FB Live, address the person one on one (that’s in the Bible too), face to face and explain how they hurt your feelings. Le’Andria gets praised for “keeping it real”, but ranting about your hurt on Jesus’ internet is passive aggressive and she’s too old and too gifted to be acting that way. Le’Andria needs to see a therapist and yall stop booking her until she does. LOL

Furthermore, against the shadow of the cross, in my mind I could not justify people who are sinners just like me keeping me from church. Crucifixion hurts worse than anything church folk can do to you. He chose to hurt for me, He chooses to forgive my sins daily because of it. Surely I can forgive people. Surely I can find a church and a pastor for me.

As a Christian, you need a church. Free agents don’t play until they get on teams. Nobody refuses to go to the hospital because of sick people. We all need to see the doctor.

This all may sound insensitive. It is not my intention. But I’m not going to sugar coat or coddle grown ups either. I didn’t go to church for awhile. I didn’t WANT to go longer than that. So if you aren’t going. I get it. I ain’t mad atcha. I recognize that everybody ain’t where I am and it’s taken me a WHILE to come to this realization.

Those of you dealing with church hurt, I am so sorry. Please find the most healthy way to address it and get your ass…. i mean, find yourself back in church. How do you deal with it? Idk. LOL. It may mean finding another congregation, it may mean showing up when you don’t want to, it definitely means LOTS OF PRAYER. Pray for a heart to forgive. Pray for whoever hurt you. Pray for the Pastor. Pray when you wanna cuss out a nigga on Sunday morning.  God answers prayers.

*in my Lexi voice* GO TO CHURCH!

Now, I don’t want my perspective to look like it lets the church off the hook. Church hurt IS the church’s fault. 
The church needs to treat people better.
The church needs to stop asking a congregation of poor people to put gas in the pastor’s jet.
The church needs to address sexual abuse, toxic masculinity, patriarchy, generational curses, mental health and MUCH more.
The church needs more leaders who are called by God (then TRAINED) and not self-proclaimed.
The church needs a smoking section. The church needs a concession stand. 
The church should change the neighborhood.
The church needs to make social justice a priority.
Elders of the church need to know when to RETIRE and make way for the next generation. The next generation needs to listen to the elders with open ears and open hearts.
We need to make church a priority and not a ‘maybe’ on the weekend.

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk. If you’re dealing with church hurt and need somebody to talk to, I am here. If you mad and want to cuss me out, I promise you don’t want this smoke! LOL. Bless your heart and all your parts. Like CarrieAmanda on Facebook. Comment or hit me up and let me know you readin! Thank you!

– CGW

 

#LevelUp These

You’re familiar with the old adage, that if you roll your eyes they could get stuck like that. This can’t possibly be true. Or maybe, black women in the black church are immune to it. That’s like a evolution thing right?

The singer Ciara posted this clip of Pastor John Gray at a women’s conference of all places with the caption #LevelUp.

#LevelUp pic.twitter.com/rmS0WMOV1B

— Ciara (@ciara) January 20, 2018

My friend asked me what I thought before I had even seen it. We discussed how Proverbs 18:22 is misinterpreted and over quoted in church. The ‘spirit of girlfriend’ whatever the hell that means isn’t addressed in that passage or an in the Bible. In this passage, the task is left to the man to find a wife, and niggas in the pulpit have still found a way to make the woman responsible.

I found a longer clip and Pastor Gray goes on to tell women basically to not wear makeup and weave because he’s looking for ‘the real you’and not the ‘projected you’. Do yall REALLY think women have a MAN in mind when doing their hair and makeup? We’re doing that for each other or for our damn selves. Black women are innovators when it comes to hair and make up and plenty sistas need to beat their face DAILY.

Furthermore, statistically, Black women in large part are marrying “down” to men with less education and who make less money. So in our case getting married is rarely a #LevelUp. “Finding” a Black wife is the #LevelUp so why doesn’t the Black church address boys and men? It instead gives men permission to treat women who aren’t wives however they want to.

Plus, the way yall talk about marriage? Got the nerve to tell me to #LevelUp and you climbing in bed with a broke man that can’t give you an orgasm. You #LevelUp first, sus. You. First.

And since we’re at church… There are plenty examples in the Bible of how men should treat women, what kind of husbands and fathers they should be. Let’s look at one. I have time. #BibleStudywithCarrie

When Joseph found out Mary was pregnant, he didn’t blast her on Facebook, he was hurt of course because he assumed Mary cheated on him and wasn’t trying to marry her. “But because Joseph… was a righteous man he was unwilling to disgrace her publicly, he resolved to divorce her privately.” (Matthew 1:19 CarrieOn version)

Joseph treated Mary honorably while he still believed she got pregnant by one of them Roman soldiers (I’m making this up, you’ll deal). THEN, he married her anyway and waited to have sex with her until Jesus was born. We only come to this passage of scripture during Christmas time, but I believe a few brothas could stand to learn about Joseph’s burden. Joseph treated Mary graciously as God treats us. We see Joseph following the command to treat your wife as Christ treats the church. Aren’t you glad God treats you with Grace?

There are plenty of fathers and husband in pulpits across America (women are kept out of many). Why is no one discussing being a husband and fatherhood?

My family is victim to a few men who weren’t taught to be husbands and fathers so when I hear niggas in the pulpit talking about women need to ‘cover up’ or ‘learn to cook’ or ‘stop wearing all that make up’ my eyes roll hard. They haven’t got stuck yet.

What if a woman (or man) enjoys being single and doesn’t want children? How does the church minister to women outside of being a wife and mother? In large part it doesn’t.

Personally, I’m trying to lose 100 lbs, make millions off my businesses, then invest in a farm. There’s no room for a husband and children in this vision. That isn’t what I want at the moment. (Eventually, I want children. I NEVER have to have a husband but I want my kids in a 2-parent household so I suppose I’ll get one. I digress.)

We are doing girls and women a disservice when we indoctrinate them to believe they are only valuable attached to  man. Don’t get me wrong, Mothers and wives are superheros and that’s what many women do want. That’s fine. But there are plenty of women who have other goals and aspirations and are just as LIT single.

Finally, we should teach people to be ‘good’ because it pleases God, not to please and impress other sinners.

In conclusion, women you’re fearfully and wonderfully made. Adam needed Eve, not the other way around. The first Gentile to declare Jesus the messiah was a woman, the first person to declare Jesus resurrected was a woman. You can do whatever you want husband or none. Prosper.

-CW

 

Millenials and the Church Part 2

Here’s Part 1

Unauthentic emotionalism
Everybody loves a good shout. If nothing else its entertaining. But, if it happens every single Sunday and is forced, its not genuine. If I’m an emotional mess, I’m not engaged or listening. I certainly cannot be poured into that way. Of course we want to see a ‘move of God’ but that doesn’t always look emotional.

Lazy
It’s not always that deep. We were down to the bar Saturday night and Brunch starts at 2. We ain’t trying to get up in the mean time between time and go to church. Hungover. From what I’ve heard 🙂

We always want to leave church feeling good
If you’ve never been mad at your pastor’s sermon, if they’ve never made you feel bad about yourself, get you another pastor. Of course we go to church to feel better but the Gospel can be a sword (Matthew 10:34). Looking at yourself up against Jesus should make you thankful but it should also put a ‘woe is me’ in your spirit. God is after your heart. He isn’t concerned about you feeling good, being comfortable or having money. It may not be your season. You may not get a breakthrough next week. Hearing these LIES every Sunday may make you feel warm and fuzzy but they aren’t making you a better Christian.

Too Woke
Woke: to be socially conscious 
I have a few non-Christian “woke” friends.
“I see you still got that Roman cross on”
“Christianity was used to enslave us! It’s the white man’s religion!”
I’ve had these arguments. I rarely have them anymore. My rule is don’t disrespect what I believe, and I’ll respect what you believe. We can still coexist. I’m NOT going to stop being a Christian. This Roman cross is tattooed on me so we #minuswell move on.

Because being ‘woke’ is in and we’re all victims of peer pressure, it is important to know the word for yourself. I’m an activist because Jesus called me to be one and He is the activist I model my work after. Nobody was more woke than Jesus. I’m not going to let the Western World’s influence on Christianity keep me from Jesus. Problems with the presentation of Christianity (white Jesus) and the black church are totally valid. If the woke black people is on Sunday, I’ll be there AFTER church.

Generational Disconnect
Millennials and our parents and grandparents have our disagreements. I think what some millennials find frustrating is our parents and grandparents unwillingness to change. What worked in 1960 may not work in 2017. I believe there is middle ground. We are taught to respect our elders so it’s a challenge to be super honest. Lets talk about the generational disconnect of music. We’re free. (Well, we aren’t enslaved anymore, most of us… ) I’m tired of negro spirituals. I honestly never have to hear “Ride on King Jesus” again. He got off the donkey eventually.

The church doesn’t feel like it belongs to us when we hold no leadership positions and leadership doesn’t seem to be concerned about our generation. If it ain’t mine, I’ll be at the house. “No man can-a hinder me.”

Church has no impact on local community
Lots of us live in victimized communities. We have to be concerned about food deserts, gentrification, poor education, police brutality to name just a few. The church should be addressing these issues. If only because there is a black church on every corner in the hood. Shouting on Sunday ain’t enough. You ain’t being a light if the community is no different because you’re in it. It is as simple as showing up. As someone passionate about activism, I don’t feel the need to spend time and money on ANY organization that isn’t making a positive change.

In conclusion…
Thank you all so much for your patience. I have no computer at home and tendinitis. My local public library is Black af and not always the quietest place to write. I hope I gave someone some insight and can get some in return. These issues are not exclusive to millennials and it is my belief all Christians NEED TO GO TO CHURCH a few times a year. Thanks again. “… do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with your God.” Micah 6:8

– Carrie

Millennials & the Church Part 1

Millennials: Born from 1982-2002

Praise the Lord Saints, we’re going to tackle why black millennials have stopped coming to church. I got asked about it from a few friends that are leaders in the church and figured I’d offer my perspective and the anonymous perspective of a few friends. I quickly realized it be easier to digest in a parts. (Also, tendinitis in my wrist) This is the Part 1. Stay tuned for the remix (Part 2) coming at cha this fall.

I was forced as a child, I’m grown now and don’t have to.

Growing up, there was never a discussion about church. “Get up its 9” is the extent of the conversation. My brother and I didn’t have a choice.  Doesn’t every generation rebel when they ‘get grown’?

Service is too long

And do you know WHY we didn’t wanna go? We’d go Sunday at 11 and leave Tuesday at 3 with no break and no snacks. I still struggle doing it as an adult. I can imagine how kids struggle.

Church Anniversary was recently. Service started at 11….. 11:15. The preacher didn’t get up till 1pm. All them speeches, presentations, poems and shit! It feels too long because what we doing on service feels like open mic night sometimes. It has nothing to do with Jesus. Church is one place anybody can get up and get their 15 even if they don’t have any business with a microphone. By the time you’re frustrated and hungry, you can’t listen or engage in service properly.

Technology

“TD. Jakes and Bobby Jones have helped folks stay committed to Beside Baptist. Now with the ability to live stream church services YouTube past sermons and etc people feel like why so I need to come all the way to the church I can worship right at home.”

I can stream service at hundreds of churches across the country and not get out of bed. It’s lazy. But as someone with social anxiety, it’s just easier to watch from the house.

Church Niggas Christians

“Since I’ve been attending Bedside Baptist I haven’t been personally victimized by any of the church mothers. Nobody has attacked me for being 30, unwed, with no kids. Nobody has told me I need to put more money in the offering plate after I just gave my last. ”

“I stopped going to church for a long time because of “church hurt” but eventually I had to stop risking my foundation with Christ because of people…. I realized that if I keep my eye on Christ and not the distraction/people regardless of what is said or done (which is hard) I’m less penetrated by the foolishness.”

I’ve dealt with church hurt. I was younger in my walk with Christ. It is silly to let God’s people keep you from God. When I’m sick, I go to the hospital. I don’t leave because ‘eww, all these sick people’. We’re all sinners. As I matured in my walk with Christ, church folk don’t bother me as much. It takes LOTS OF PRAYER, chile.

Leadership or lack their of

“…around my area with the black pastors, I just hear too many stories of these pastors and the allegations of baby mommas and side chicks”

“…too many of our churches are centered around leadership (pastor, worship leaders, other preachers or people in prominent placement), and this is a turnoff to a generation of community minded people like us millennials.”

The #BlackLivesMatter Movement that many millennials have embraced is a ‘leaderless’ movement. There is no pastor, president or CEO. It’s all of us or none of us. I do believe a pastor is necessary but we walk on the line of idolatry when it comes to our Pastor and First Lady.

Also, many leaders (deacons, preachers) in the church lead raggedy lives and as someone who is trying to be better, I need an example especially in a man. Men tend to not hold each other accountable. That’s another discussion though.

Sex

Yall lied to us about sex. All yall said was it’s for one man and one woman in marriage and don’t do it until then. As a preteen I wondered why adults kept saying don’t have sex. It didn’t sound appealing anyway.

Nobody told me that sex feels good.

Also, we’re told that masturbation is a sin as well. So how do I deal with my physical urges? I didn’t get those answers in church.

Homophobia/Gender Roles

” I’m a preacher’s kid and queer! Where do I begin….hypocrites, non-inclusive language and consistent perpetuation of gender roles!”

The church has very conditional homophobia. Church queens make service lit with the music and the dance ministry. But the gays is going to hell.

Also, gender roles. I believe that gender is God’s design and for a purpose. But I wasn’t taught how to operate outside of wife and mother. When and if it happens, great. But I’m single with no kids and I wanna stay that way for a few years. Ain’t many niggas around here to ‘submit to’. So do I get a fixer upper nigga or what? The church teaches women to submit but not men to be somebody to submit to.

Thirdly, many of us (including me) are products of single parent homes where there was no man of the house. The woman was the leader of the family. I haven’t seen many examples of a submissive wife that were… appealing.

 

This is part 1. I pray that I’ve given some insight. If you’re a millennial and have anything to contribute to the church discussion, feel free to hit me up. This is an ongoing discussion. If you come up in my inbox trying to argue, I’m #ReclaimingMyTime God bless you real good.

 

– Carrie