Monthly Archives: October 2015

Christianity and Halloween: An Analysis

Every year around this time I entertain the thought of being a Christian and celebrating Halloween. I’m not big on most holidays cause who needs an excuse to do hoodrat things with your friends and family? Not I. Anywho, this is just an analysis on whether or not I’m going to hell for dressing up this weekend. I did research. You’re welcome. (Feel free to fact check, chile.)

Growing up I heard a lot of church folk say that they don’t celebrate Halloween because it’s a ‘Pagan’ holiday. As a kid I always wondered who these Pagan people were and why they were so bad. Paganism is a term that European Christians used to describe other religions. It’s usually derogatory.

Biblically it refers to Ancient Romans and Greeks who were polytheistic they served multiple gods. I’d argue that Simon was pagan before he became Jesus’ homeboy. In Acts it says he practiced magic. Also, the 3 Hebrew boys refused to serve a pagan god, an idol if you will.

The history of Halloween like most holidays is very layered. Bear with me as I try to give it to you in a nutshell.

Sacred Origin

Halloween, like Christmas finds its origins in the church taking a secular holiday and making it sacred. Around the eighth century the Catholic Church decided to use November 1st as All Saints Day. The local pagans were already turnt on that day so it kind of made sense. All Saints Day became a festival to honor any saint who didn’t already have their own day.  

The mass or church service that happened on All Saints Day was called Allhallowmas – A mass of all those who are hallowed… The night before became known as All Hallows Eve.


Secular Origin

The secular origin of Halloween is a Celtic holiday called Samhain and is the New Year. It marked the end of the Harvest Season and the beginning of winter. Also, ancestors are honored during Samhain. Your dead ancestor may come from the other side and communicate with you. This is probably the point where Christians were like ‘no, I’m good bruh’

As a kid my mom let my little brother and I dress up and go trick-or-treating. The church/pastor did preach against Halloween and we did have “Hallelujah night” where we could dress up as a non-scary/demonic character and get candy. We were supposed to do this instead of Halloween according to the church folk but we did both.

I don’t have any children. If God blesses me with some, I will let them dress up and go trick-or-treating. Likewise, we’ll participate in the church’s celebration if there is one. In my humble opinion I don’t think it’s fair to not let children do Halloween. You can’t expect a 6 year old to understand/accept not dressing up as their favorite character and going around the ‘hood to get candy especially when all their peers are.

Plus if my kids are as black as me (which is very likely), they’ll run the risk of being thrown across the room by a white punk ass police officer for no damn reason so I want them to be able to have fun and be children for as long as they can. They don’t get to be kids as long as their white counterparts do. The innocence of a black child is on a very short timer. So yes, my kids will dress up however they want and get all the candy.

I don’t think there is any harm in our current celebration of Halloween because it has evolved into something else. If we as Christians aren’t going to celebrate/observe Halloween because of its “pagan” orgins, we then cannot justify celebrating Christmas or Easter. All 3 of these holidays are the church’s adaptations to cultural/secular holidays. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking that cultural liberty.

Likewise if you chose not to celebrate/observe Halloween I believe it is your responsibility as a parent to explain to your children the reasons. I remember as a kid asking my friends who didn’t get to trick-or-treat why the hell not and they didn’t know.

I think that some insecure people use every single holiday to elevate themselves, honestly. For what other reason would you parade around talking about ‘WE don’t celebrate Halloween/Christmas/Easter’. Good for you. Your raggedy life plus not celebrating holidays will not get you an advanced ticket into heaven.

“… Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

For you, this may mean choosing not to celebrate Halloween and other holidays. That’s fine. But if you’re elevating YOURSELF in doing so, you’ve completely missed the point.

I plan on eating my weight in candy corn and Reece cups, dressing up as a nurse and going to my friend’s party. The church I attend in town is having ‘Super He Roes’ weekend where you dress up as your favorite super hero. I’m going as Super Woman. I chose to participate because whenever there is a ‘theme’ at church those in charge of ministry always incorporate it into something relevant. Yall KNOW I’m conservative when it comes to the church. My granddaddy will be turning over 7 times in his grave though.

Whatever you chose to do have a safe and blessed weekend. Thank you for supporting my blog, please continue to read/comment and share. You will be picking topics soon 🙂


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Miles and Milan of Love and Hip Hop Hollywood: Out in Hip Hop!

I got on twitter last Monday and was intrigued by a conversation about somebody coming out on some TV Show. So I asked my followers, “What are yall watching?”. My homegirl told me Love and Hip Hop Hollywood.

I don’t watch too much TV during the week. I only watch Empire, Scandal and HTGAWM on the nights they come on. I used to watch LHHATL because Joseline Hernandez gives me all of my life, but I even grew out of her and Steebie.

People keep asking me about this episode and this rapper coming out. So.. Here’s the blog.

miles and amberAfter some research I deduced that aspiring rapper Miles Brock came out to his (ex?) girlfriend Amber and is dating Milan Christopher.

First I watched the “Out and Hip-Hop” special hosted by TJ Holmes. Then, I watched the episode of Miles coming out. I am so happy that homophobia in Hip-Hop, the church and largely black culture is being addressed. Mona Scott-Young did SOMETHING right chile, sometimes I think she’s trying to destroy us (black people) with these shows.

It has always been so interesting to me how masculine, homophobic and hyper sexual hip-hop culture can be while ALSO being very homo-erotic. Many a rapper’s music video has a bunch of men standing around shirtless or in tank tops without a woman in sight. I’ve been to many local hip hop shows. There are always 10 men for every woman. A sausage fest, honey.

Also, I find it interesting that they had Pastor Jamal Bryant on the show addressing sexuality. After all, he did cheat on his wife and almost lose his church so he’s probably not the one to address sexual sin. Maybe him and Mona are friends *shrugs* out in hip hop

Moving on…

After I watched the Out in Hip-Hop special, I watched the episode where Miles Brock comes out to Amber. My first thought: Amber sitting on a couch with THIS young lady and does not know that he’s gay? Chiiile he was FEESH. (Disclaimer: in no way does someone’s gender expression coincide with their sexual preference but I know a gay man when I see one 87% of the time, honey. Idc idc idc)

Second thought: Amber’s reaction was waayyy over the top. She acted like somebody had told her that her puppy had been ran over or something, acted completely blind-sided. Girl Bye. Everybody been telling yall he gay since High School. Amber knew he was gay, she just thought her vagina was golden and she could ‘cure’ him. They probably be doing each others eyebrows…

miles milanNow, Miles and Milan’s relationship is breaking new ground and looking back they probably will be seen as pioneers but let me say this. Miles lied to Amber and that isn’t a heroic quality We have got to cultivate a society that makes it easier for black men in particular to come out of the closet and be up front about their sexual preferences. If I was with a man who was sucking dxck and then coming home and kissing me in the mouth, I’d want to know. (Likewise, if he was eating somebody else’s kitty kat) like give me a choice about my body. I’m with you. But you’re making choices for me if you’re with somebody else while you’re with me and that isn’t fair.

If you love somebody, they deserve a choice. Keep it 100. Man up. If you’re having sex with me, I need to know who else you having sex with. You ain’t about to bring home no ebola or tuberculosis in my bed without my knowledge, that’s not cute. (I know those aren’t sexually transmitted diseases, don’t be in my inbox trying to educate me on STD’s. Not my area of expertise.. click clank) I figure if you’re sneaking around with a man, he’s probably ALSO sneaking around and might have a woman or women as well. That’s AT LEAST 2 more bodies. Then who else is his woman sleeping with? Feel me? That’s ALOT of transactions.

Also, I find it interesting that Milan admitted he was insecure about Miles’ bisexuality. The bisexuality phenomenon is interesting isn’t it? To gay to be straight, to straight to be gay. Openly bisexual people are brave to me. I think MOST people are bisexual they just chose a side so they won’t be ostracized.

It’s almost like people think bisexual equals promiscuous or liar. Chile, it’s plenty straight/gay people that are cheating. You should want somebody honest. Now Milan, Miles doesn’t seem to have a good track record on honesty so far but that’s because he’s a liar, not because he’s bisexual. Again, lets cultivate a society that makes it easier for people to be 100 about who they are. Hip-Hop values authenticity right?

Other notes on the show

Why is that pretty girl with Soulja Boy? He got a tattoo between his eyebrows and a safari hat on inside. He obviously does not make good decisions.

And who is this guy with this unfortunate teeth throwing his ring away at this beautiful woman and why she kissing him.. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Did she throw up in this store and throw it at somebody? I would’ve blew up the whole city block. I would’ve mailed her head to her great auntie. GROSS.

Yall about to have me watching these coons every Monday. Ugh. So scripted. So ENTERTAINING! So guilty*Hits DVR*

Thus are my thoughts so far. I’ll get to Miles’ sisters and how I think this ALL affects artistry later on this week.




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Purity Certificate: Vagina Carfax

I’m about to start charging yall for these blogs.

Yall always put me in a position to talk bad about fellow negros and fellow Christians.

brebowmanLast weekend, news broke that a young lady in Maryland presented her father with a ‘Certificate of Purity’ at her wedding. The certificate was from her gyno saying that her ‘hymen was still in tact’. Brelyn Freeman now Bowman is pictured posing with the Vagina Carfax Purity Certificate with her dad Pastor Mike Freeman. (He cute ain’t he a little..)

I feel the need to explain my perspective before I discuss my thoughts on this practice. I was raised by a single mother. She taught me that my body parts were MINE. She also taught me to wait until marriage. So I get that. I promise I do, I believe it’s the best practice. Sex is an exchange of spiritual energy that you should not exchange with everybody. We use it like a sport. I think that’s disgusting. The bible teaches us about how to treat our bodies. They are temples, don’t let errbody in chile. 1 Corinthians 6:20

[[#BibleStudy is short this blog because I have another one on deck as well. IDK who told yall to request 2 in a week. ]]

Let me first say hats off to Tim and Brelyn Bowman for staying virgins until they wed. (Tim did announce on Good Morning America that he too remained a virgin.. they also said they wasn’t virgins no mo.. yaassssss) I hope that many other young people look at them and decide to click clank. They are a beautiful couple too. She’ll be pregnant in 3 months tops yall.brebowman2

Here’s where I find the practice problematic.

First Problem

Brelyn’s hymen at no point is her own. She gave it to her daddy at 13. Then a man had to check and make sure it was still in tact, and then she gave it to her husband when she got married. As somebody with a vagina who suffers Eve’s painful consequences every 28 days, I’ll be DAMN if I’ll be gathering Carfax on my hymen to ANYBODY.

We as black people and Christians put all these boarders on women and their sexuality. What goes on in a teenage girls mind when she’s told that what’s between her own legs doesn’t belong to her?


(I’m assuming) Tim didn’t make a covenant with his mother at 13 to keep his wee wee in his pants until he got married… and there is no test for a virgin penis is there? Tim’s penis has always been his own. Likewise I beliveBre’s vagina/hymen should always be her own.

Second Problem

As a result of some late ass cultural standards, Bre’s husband, Tim didn’t feel the need to present CarFax on his penis to his mother. Yall know I HATE that double standard. I wish we taught our young men to be as pure and chaste as we teach girls. Contrary to popular belief, the penis and the brain ARE connected and we sell our young men short by letting them think that it’s impossible for them to remain virgins, be pure and say ‘No’ to sex.

I could go soooo much deeper into the double standard but for the purpose of time/space and my laziness.

Third Problem

A hymen that’s in tact doth not a virgin make, necessarily. A number of things can break your hymen, a tampon, a bicycle, a pap smear. Also, a penis/intercourse may not necessarily break it. It IS pretty elastic, made out of the same thing a vagina is, so if a baby can come through it and not completely wreck shop, the hymen can take a beating as well.

Also, just because you have your hymen doesn’t mean you’ve treated your body as a temple. Anal sex and oral sex don’t do anything to a hymen. Plenty of yall got a hymen, but ya MOUF…

Fourth Problem

brebowman3The bible says ‘Present your bodies a living sacrifice unto God’ (Romans 12). It doesn’t say present your body… to your your husband.. or to Instagram. I don’t know Brelyn from any young lady on the street and I could’ve been just fine with out knowing that her hymen hasn’t been broken. God knows all and sees all. That certificate was not for God. That was for Brelyn and her Daddy. What’s God gonna do with a certificate? God isn’t impressed by that. If you’re living a life that’s pleasing unto God, you don’t have to put it on Instagram. Brelyn should’ve just put that picture up and simply said ‘dancing with my daddy at my wedding. Praise the Lordt.’

Fifth Problem

That was none of our business. We live in a culture of over-sharing. Yall invite people into your bedrooms and draws and then got the nerve to tell people get out your business.. Girl, you invited me in! I’m going to have commentary 97% of the time. If you don’t want me to talk about it, don’t put it on the world wide internets.

Same goes for Terry Crews and his wife. I just didn’t want to know they went on a sex fast. When I get married, the only sex fast I’m going on is to get Gatorade, chile.

Thus are my thoughts on the vagina carfax.

“Don’t be offended this is all my opinion ain’tnothing that I’m saying law…”

*Strums Geetar*

Thank you for reading, feel free to comment and share. Be respectful.

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