Monthly Archives: October 2012

Now usually I don’t do this, but uh…

I’ll write about politics nshit all day.. but I’m sensitive about my rhymes.. so if it sucks, tell me in a nice way.. or a mean way.. i can handle it. I think my rhymes are wack but I’m very hard on myself so tell me what you think… wrote this last week.. I may or may not have been thinking of somebody in particular when I wrote this. Was it you?
Like to hear it? Hear it go!
the perfect storm.
it starts to sprinkle, i get a peck..
rains a little harder you kiss my neck..
clouds separating just like my legs…
mad with a clap of thunder cause you have that affect on me..
intense eyes in yours cause you got me mentally…
physically, sweating,¬†scratching hope I’m pleasing
a flash of lightning across us and I’m almost pleading..
asking for permission..
thighs against your ears so you can’t be listening.
Thunder.
lightning.
I exhale as the climax is reached..
its sprinkling again as we drift off to sleep…
(c) 2012

 

 

 

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Xavier

A month or so ago I lost a dear friend. His name was Xavier and he was only 18. I believe that everybody dies on time and God doesn’t take anyone early. BUT that doesn’t make the pain any easier. I am heartbroken. X and I’s moms are best friends since college, so we’ve known each other all our lives. That phone call from my mother replays in my head daily. I couldn’t process the information… I sat on the bathroom floor and just didn’t know what the hell to do. My mom told me not to get on the road (they live in Indianapolis) cause I was upset. I felt helpless. I still do. X left his parents, grandparents and brothers behind. I can’t imagine losing any of my brothers. That was a very hard trip to the cemetery. Its rare to see pain like that. It was hard for me because I knew there was absolutely nothing I could say or do.

I haven’t been exercising, paying attention to what I eat, putting the effort I should into my school work or anything. I don’t want to go to therapy. I want to feel better. I’m VERY emotional about everything lately, always holding back tears at the silliest stuff. Maybe not silly, but I’m a Sagg and we only show emotion when absolutely necessary.

I’m hurt because X is gone. I’m hurt because his parents and siblings are like my fam and when people you love that much are hurting, you feel it… that’s only possible on God-level love. I appreciate that type of love because of the benefits… but it makes for hurt too. Sometimes I just don’t wanna love cause there’s no hurt without it… but i know that’s impossible.

I’m heartbroken and just came here to write cause I was about to explode. I thought about writing it privately but i realize we will have to deal with the loss of a loved one. It always helps to know you aren’t alone.¬†

The Homecoming King went home to be with the King of Kings. Rest in Power Xavier Loren Sommerville.

-CK