It’s Never “Just” Sex

Now listen, I know you whores are going to immediately disagree with me when you see this title… and I do admit, ‘never’ is a sweeping generalizing statement. But, I only speak from my own experiences. I realize this may make me sound like I been around the block a few times, but hey. I don’t go around the block, people just stop at me on the way around..?

When I was younger, I thought that I was one of the few capable of having a sexual relationship with someone and then not feeling any type of way about them. Now, of course I had to be sexually attracted to them but I didn’t have to actually like them, get to know them or be their friend.

I thought I was doing well for awhile.

Then one time I got jealous. I also used to think that I was incapable of jealousy. As I’ve gotten older, I realize that I’m indeed a very jealous person. God is jealous. No way in the world I’d be able to skip that if He can’t. One situation in particular. This young lady and I had met an event one day, became fbook friends the same day and was bumping uglies 2 days later. What can we infer about this situation? Not that I’m so attractive that I am a vageen magnent… cause I used to think that too.. well, I still do… But in this particular moment, we realized that she was insecure and easy and NOT relationship material.

Then she got in a relationship.

And I was jealous.

Bare with me, I just admitted I was jealous to myself a few days ago. Whew, it leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.

It took this particular person to realize that its never just sex because frankly, I don’t like her. If I hadn’t have had sex with her, I’d be happy she was in a relationship. Better him than me. My jealousy was not with my heart, it was with my parts. I had claimed her with my superb sexual prowess and I thought she was my property.

I didn’t want her. But I didn’t want anyone else to have her either.

When a woman has sex with someone, she releases a chemical. I don’t know what its called. But the only other time she releases this chemical is when she’s breast feeding her child. This chemical she releases symbolizes a bond with her and that other person. So if you’ve had sex with a woman, you and her are always connected. Always.

And when I think about sex objectively… I ask myself why would I not have a connection with someone who has been inside me? Why wouldn’t I feel some type of way about someone I’ve been naked around or came in front of?

We aren’t made for ‘just’ sex, folks.

Sometimes, we can get away with having sex with people and then becoming their friends. But it’s not the same as before yall had sex… Cause yall’s juices have mixed.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be sexually liberated in our lives and do what we want responsibly… But I am saying that when we perpetuate the myth of  ‘just’ sex… We’re denying our very human emotions and characteristics.

If you can ‘hate’ someone you’ve had sex with, you’re ‘hating’ a part of yourself to. So please Lawd wear a condom, take a pill, get a shot, a dental dam, a latex glove. Something.

This ain’t a relationship/love blog so don’t get used to this emotional shit, B.


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