I visited the Kingdom Center in Louisville, KY this past Sunday at the invite from my friend Jai. It was phenomenal. I’ll definitely be back. During the devotions/praise and worship, they sang “Have Your Way” by Jabari Johnson. It’s a beautiful song, go check it out.
The lyrics “If Its not pleasing to you, take it outta me.” will not and have not left me alone. During service, we had plenty of time to sing and meditate on that one line.
Can I be honest? There are some things in me that are not pleasing to God that ARE pleasing to ME. As I was singing that I felt God saying, “You sure? I’m going to take away some things you love.” My grandaddy/pastor Elder DJ Ward would ask us “Do you mean that?!” when we were singing certain songs. Sometimes, the response for me is “I’m not sure.”
During service it was mentioned that we are often ‘chasing an experience and not a relationship’. I had a great time in church Sunday singing that song. I had a horrible time dealing with the answer to the prayer on Monday.
One of the things being taken out of me is the urge to debate/argue with everything and everybody. It is mentally and emotionally taxing and usually doesn’t benefit anything or anybody. On Monday, I posted a status on my Facebook page saying that I was going to be intentional about avoiding arguing and conflict.
Then conflict showed up as if I had invited her.
It was conflict from something that happened a couple years ago (that didn’t involve me) from somebody I honestly barely know. I let two women (well, girls that are old enough to be women) take me to an angry/anxious place and ruin my day. I was in tears by the time my mom had gotten home. (She won’t go off on Facebook but she WILL come in my room and go off about people. LOL)
Today’s Bible Study took me to Psalm 51 by no accident. David wrote this Psalm after he slept with Bathsheba. (It’s a juicy story, go read) David recognized his the sin that he committed and the fact that he was a sinner.
“You’re not a sinner because you sin, you sin because you are a sinner.” – DJ Ward
Our natural, hereditary disposition is sin. Adam and Eve gave it to us. Sin isn’t something we do occasionally. Sin is who we are. So, it’s important for our constant prayer to be “If It’s not pleasing to you, take it outta me.”
And He’ll do it.
Not only is the habit of debating/arguing everything and everybody leaving, but so is my love for it. I don’t want to argue. I don’t want to debate if it does not lead to understanding and progress. I ain’t spending any of that energy for free. It’s too expensive, and I’m not talking financially.
Psalm 51:16-17 (NLT)
You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering. The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
My spirit is certainly broken. I’m comforted in the fact that God will not reject a broken heart. (I’m also grateful I don’t have to slaughter and burn a lamb. Yuck.)
Psalm 139: 23-24 (NLT)
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Until next time,